Side Salad

MARLINS FEVER... CATCH IT!

Alan over at Hudsonian.com, sends the following documentation of the mania inspired by the Florida Marlins' improbable entry into Major League Baseball's postseason.

This tableau was shot outside one of the gates at Pro Player Stadium.



There are so many hyper-realistic yet surrealistic elements here - it's almost like a cross between a Norman Rockwell and a Dali - you could analyze the frame piece by piece...

First, consider The Freak. Goethe once said that true, real and reasoned emotion did not exist unless it was released upon the human condition. Well, this dude let his reason escape from jail a long, long time ago.

About the only thing that makes this whole display worthwhile is knowing that under those layered garments and beneath the hat and face paint is a man whose brain is roasting like a chicken in a George Foreman rotisserie.




These guys came right from the Abercrombie and Fitch modeling call. How do I know? The casual, insouciant posing of the shorter one's left elbow.



How best to show the world that you're looking forward to that Atkins diet kicking off at New Years? By strapping on a belly pack that increases your marsupial paunch.

This is a subtle, yet effective illusion. This way, when you take it off it looks like you've already lost the first 15.



If you could hear his innermost thoughts, they might include the sentence, "Did I call my probation officer?"



Everything you need to know about South Florida footwear habits is contained in this photo. The entire Miami-Fort Lauderdale metroplex is branded by tan lines that stop at the ankles.

The best part is that because no one is wearing socks and it's 150 degrees and the humidity is only slightly less than that felt by natives in Sumatra, by the end of the Seventh Inning Stretch the collective aroma of absorbant insoles inside the stadium begins to resemble microwaved dog vomit.