SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

GREAT. NOW IF WE CAN GET HIM TO STOP SAYING, "ABOOT."

Peter Jennings is now a U.S. Citizen.

As a hazing ritual for our former Canadian friend, I say we parade Mr. Fancy Pants around shirtless in some star-spangled bike shorts and have him sing, "God Bless The U.S.A." in a falsetto outside a VFW hall in Possum Crack, Ark. That should show us how much he really wants to be an Amurrikan.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.