June 03, 2003
THE TUESDAY (FRIDAY) FIVE
I've held out long enough without falling into the extremely geeky blog tendency to tell you 100 things about myself or answer five questions on a particular day of the week.
But since I am severely lacking in material to share without digging into my personal life (believe me, no one wants that), here's my Friday Five. (Yes, I know it's Tuesday.) Consider it my one concession to the dark side of the blog world:
1. What do you most want to be remembered for?
Would it be dropping a shopping cart on my head in college? Making a Johnny Commando run on the Whataburger flagpole? Maybe a little borrowing of the state senate president's desk ornaments and giving them to my best friend to honor his recent designation as a Florida resident. Or the time I wore a bear head to work? How about when I sent two seeping cantaloupes in interoffice mail to demonstrate to my bosses the actual size of a dog's back tumor? The night I broke out of a bar in Nome? The night I posed with an oversized loaf of bread at a baseball game? Or the Christmas party when I hung dried apricots on a hook at someone's house and tried to foist them off as tropical mistletoe. Or the celebrity Super Bowl party I crashed in Miami so I could shake Mary Hart's hand. Then there was the road trip to Atlanta during which I subsisted on nothing but Moon Pies, pork rinds and Lite beer. Nah. I'll have to go with fathering a wonderful son. Albeit a wonderful son who has yet to hear about his father doing any of the above.
2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
If the shoes are too small, wear a bigger pair.
3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
Printing a page upside down in a major metropolitan newspaper.
4. What about the past 10 years?
Gotta go with the offspring on this one.
5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
Life is too short and too stupid to be taken seriously. Then again, that might be the shopping cart talking.