News reports over the weekend say Britney Spears married a childhood friend from Louisiana in an early morning ceremony Sunday in Las Vegas, but quickly arranged to have it annulled.
Apparently, what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. At least not when The Smoking Gun gets ahold of your marriage license.
Entertainment Tonight's Web site breathlessly reports that hours after she tied the knot, eyewitnesses described the pop princess as "nervous," and her husband-to-be, Jason Allen Alexander, as "a bit blank."
You sure that wasn't the other way around?
For what it's worth, Jason, you may not have the princess of pop on your arm anymore, but you can always wear this shirt proudly back home in Kentwood.
The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority offers an abundance of tasty marriage statistics about Sin City:
**Marriage licenses purchased yearly in Clark County (includes Las Vegas, Laughlin, Mesquite):
2000 - 122,902
2001 - 123,149
2002 - 120,385
**Most popular wedding days in Las Vegas: Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve
**Most popular wedding dates in Las Vegas: Dates with consistent numbers, i.e. 1/01/01, 2/02/02, 3/03/03
**Over the years, some of Tinseltown's biggest names have come to Las Vegas to say, "I do!"
Elvis and Priscilla Presley (divorced)
Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow (divorced)
Jane Fonda and Roger Vadim (divorced)
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (divorced)
Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere (divorced)
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward (still married)
Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme (still alive?)
Ann-Margaret and Roger Smith (still married. And that Steve and Eydie joke wasn't funny.)
Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie (still divorced and still, amazingly, alive)
**The aforementioned may be stars but according to Clark County Marriage License Bureau officials: "All wedding parties are considered celebrities to us."
If only the happy/now-depressed young Spears/Alexander power couple had talked to Grillboy, they'd have learned lots of things they needed to know before going to Vegas. Such as:
1. In the early morning hours, the hotel staff at the Flamingo will occasionally leave those big blue laundry carts, unattended in the hallways.
1a. A grown man can climb inside of these carts, and then be pushed down the halls by a second grown man.
1b. It is difficult to steer such a cart, as the person pushing can't see directly in front of them, and has to drive by looking around the sides.
1c. Full speed can be achieved, if the person riding in the cart will help steer by pushing off the walls when you get to close. (Such as in corners)
But back to Britney:
Those of you who have been longtime readers of the Salad Bowl already know that Britney, or at least moments of her, fuel somewhat of an obsession.
With that in mind, we offer our previous Moments of Britney for your consumption:
Britney swaps spit with the Rosetta Stone of Skank.
Britney poses for photos that make her look even more plastic and lifeless than she already is.
Britney, as she would look if she hit the all-you-can-eat Seafood Lovers Special at Red Lobster every night for six months.
Britney runs a restaurant into the ground.
Britney has an evil twin available for parties.
Britney and George cut a rug.
Britney proves the axiom: Beer affects the way males respond to females.