SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE

Stumped for a Valentine's gift? The good folks at Archie McPhee have a suggestion: Parasite Pals. Think of it as a mix of the cuteness of Japanese cartoon characters with the enduring fun of parasites.

Few things say, "I love you,'' the way that Tickles Tapeworm, Dig Dig Head Louse, Blinky Eyelash Mite and Zzezz Bedbug can.

If that doesn't warm the cockles of your heart, try the elephant cigarette dispenser that shoots cancer sticks out its butt.

And to think people say we're becoming a more coarse society.