July 13, 2004

ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC

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You never know what you'll see in traffic around Tampa. That's why I keep my camera at the ready. The last time I saw something goofy proved to be photographically fruitful.

Then I saw the above Nissan Sentra in front of me at a red light the other day loaded with bumper stickers.

Let's just take a look, shall we?

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The converse, of course, is true. Whatever makes you healthy will require no hospitalization at all. Neither will whatever actually does kill you. Because, you know, you'd be dead, fer crissakes.

Here's hoping the car's owner isn't a nurse.

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Ahhh. A South Park fan. How very... 1998.

As for the drugs part? Very 1968. And '78... and '88...

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I love a little passive aggression in traffic. That someone could exhibit such tendencies in a little bitty economy car while Hummers and Escalades and Expeditions wait to crush their very automotive soul tells me that in this car lives the heart of a lion. Or a fool. But definitely one of the two.

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Oh yes, the sweet aroma of condecension.

From someone driving a Nissan Sentra.

What, you couldn't afford a Prius?

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More superiority. Ever think, pal, that maybe the ignorant walk with you so you'll feel better as some sort of ignoramus mainstreaming program?

Probably not.

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The moon sticker. I knew it. And from the look of it, the owner tore a "My Other Car Is A Wiccan Broom" sticker off to make room for this one.

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Your car keeps driving and all I read is, "Blah, blah, blah."

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Nice. As Ron Burgundy would say, "Stay classy."

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Okay, now I get it. This is Paris Hilton's car.

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I'm shocked - shocked and stunned and amazed, really - that this person might have a tattoo. Shocked, shocked, shocked.

I'm guessing a barbed-wire back tat. But that's just wild supposition on my part.

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Ooooh, fancy combination. Denigration and a hint of poop. Nicely done.

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This originally read, "GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO WORTHLESS, TRAILER TRASH, IGNORANT TURDS AT GULF GATE ELEMENTARY" but they couldn't fit it all in.

How very PC for them to pick an alien form with four dots on its chest to represent the frolicking children doing good things at Gulf Gate. Unless of course you're yellow, you have no mouth, hair, eyelids or hands and you have quadruple diamond pattern nipples. Then, I guess, this is one flamingly offensive bumper sticker.

Posted by Jeff at July 13, 2004 08:10 AM
Comments

LOLOL I love reading bumper stickers, now I dont need to leave my house to do it...Thanks for the laugh this morning ;)

Posted by: Cherry at July 13, 2004 09:27 AM