July 25, 2004
TOUR DE JOKE
So, I'm sitting here for three hours watching early so I can see Lance Armstrong win the Tour de France for the uprecedented sixth time in a row. To capture what will likely never be repeated in my lifetime, there are helicopters and motorcycles and cranes and booms and all manner of tools being used to shoot live footage of this historic moment. I've gathered my son and my mom and we're all sitting here watching and at the last moment, a sprint breaks out, as expected.
The sprinters bolt ahead of the pack as Armstrong sits comfortably - and safely - in the bosom of the peloton with victory assured.
And when the sprint is done, Tom Boonen wins the stage. Who's Tom Boonen? Who cares? We want to see Lance crossing the line.
When the moment comes, all they show is... Boonen. They missed getting Armstrong. Totally. Entirely. Forever.
I'm screaming at the television. What the *!&@ !!!!!!!!!!
"Our cameras were unable to capture it,'' announcer Phil Liggett says.
How the *!&@ does that happen? With every piece of television equipment known to man there to capture the moment? How?
That's like focusing on the second horse while Secretariat is winning the Triple Crown by 19 lengths. Or not shooting the moment when Dale Earnhardt crashed into Turn 4 at Daytona.
You've gotta love the French. Really. They found a way to photograph the Nazis marching past the Champs-Elysees. They got such good footage of Princess Diana that they ran her into a concrete pillar and then kept shooting. But not Lance Armstrong. That one they missed.