September 04, 2004
HURRICANE DAY
Woke up this morning to news that Frances had slowed to a near-halt. She's not just being a slowpoke. She's got that kind of deliberate purpose you use when you're drunk and crawling on your hands and knees trying to find the toilet in the dark after too much Cuervo. Or so I've been told.
She also seems to have downshifted over the Abaco Islands into something less fierce than what she was just yesterday. I'm sorry the Bahamas had to take it in the puss for us on the mainland, but hey, when you live out in the Atlantic, you take your chances.
That's not to say she'll be a walk in the park. With expected landfall in Vero Beach or Fort Pierce, there are some people over there who might find a very different landscape tomorrow by the time it's over. It may only get back to Category 3 by the time it jumps the Gulf Stream, but that's nothing to sneeze at.
On Friday when the course was in question and the strength was an unknown quantity, we tended to clump around the person whose computer had the latest information.
In this photo, we're huddled around Kurt's desk. Kurt is the closest think to a nihilist in our group. He enjoyed torquing everyone up by sending out gang messages that said stuff like, "I AM BECOME DEATH,'' and "DOOM IS AT HAND.''
That Kurt is one funny guy.
Lucky for us in eastern Hillsborough County, we'll only likely get tropical-force winds. That still could be up to 70 mph, but far from a Category 2 or 3.
Radar indicates that the outer feeder bands are swirling closer. Fort Meade and Sebring are getting a pretty firm scrubbing at the moment, with winds up to 45 mph. The breeze has picked up here considerably.
There are a million theories as to why the storm is decreasing. My money is because of the energy sucked away by the fireworks-influenced pre-hurricane party we had last night while sitting out in my neighbor's driveway.
We weren't really drinking that much. I only had half a glass of wine. But after I announced the recent purchase of a cannon, that got people to thinking it might be a solid idea to inaugurate it pre-Frances. Mike, above, is a huge pyrotechnic freak, so I knew he'd like the cannon. The look on his face says it all.
Unfortunately, the cannon did not work as advertised. I'm guessing it was because I was mixing the combustibles for it in near-pitch dark.
I wheedled. I cajoled. I tried everything I could.
Let me just advise the future cannon owners of America that they should experiment with their new toys before debuting them in front of an anxious group of party hounds.
Lucky for me, Drew had some leftover Fourth of July mortars to launch to keep everyone entertained.
Suckers were loud, too.
I don't want to say we were reckless, but Las Vegas is putting up odds that one of us blows off a thumb by the end of the year.
Although a beautiful display, this was the one that triggered our neighbor Gumby to come out and tell us to knock it the hell off. That didn't stop Drew, who told him he had one more to shoot and we were done.
What he didn't tell Gumby is that he planned to put the shell in upside down and just about blow us all up.
When they devise the warning labels on fireworks, this is pretty much the guy they have in mind. Posted by Jeff at September 4, 2004 11:09 AM