September 05, 2004


Several things I know from last night's Hurricane Frances experience at Camp Lejune... ER, Camp Tribune:

1. Sleeping on the floor sucks in so many ways, I've lost count.

2. There are three tools available in The Television Reporter's Official On-Air Hurricane Verbal Illustration Manual:

A. If there are no people in your vicinity, immediately wave your arm behind you in a sweepign gesticulation and say "(insert name of town) is virtually a ghost town"

B. The word "literally" should be applied, literally. As in, "That roof [SHOT OF ROOF PEELING OFF A MOBILE HOME] is literally peeling off that mobile home.''

C. Everything that remains stationary can be described as being in a state of "hunkered down." (Although this is redundant - since no one ever "hunkers up" - use the phrase anyway.

3. Sleeping on the floor is rough on the gonads.

4. Sleeping on the floor promotes some seriously bizarre dreams. Like the one I had about all the people here at work who slept in the newsroom last night. We were all at the Daytona 500 and sleeping at various places underneath the grandstand. I left my bedroll for a moment to walk toward a co-worker and looked back to see NASCAR fans ransacking my wallet and other belongings. To get away from them, we walked through a door. Behind that door was a dungeon. At first it looked like some sort of interrogation room in Iraq. Then I realized that they were recording voiceovers for The Simpsons, only they were doing auditions for a new voice for Grandpa. And they were not very good.

Paging Dr. Freud....

5. Being on South Beach Diet during a tropical calamity is not an easy endeavor. Pork rinds, boiled eggs and cashews only go so far. Should have rationed. Must... get... food.

6. It's been great to get the e-mails from friends and family worried about our condition. Got this one not too long ago from my neighbor Drew:


All is well in the hood for now. Just did a “Drive By” and only minor damage to report. All damage is the result of people not doing what they were supposed to do. Basketball Hoops were the biggie. Steve and Jory’s hoop is shattered laying on the ground. Around the block, someone else left theirs out resulting on their vehicle being hit by it when it slammed down. Other than that, only a few trees have been knocked down…mostly newly planted (New house next to the model).

Wind continues to gust and there is a lot of small debris lowing around. Rain hasn’t really been that bad yet. Cimino is not opened as a shelter yet and have not heard about it preparing to despite it being fully ready.

Will keep you updated as the day goes on… assuming we maintain power. If we lose power, I will turn on my cell phone and attempt to make contact. Generators are ready and beer is cold... Best we can ask for.

Posted by Jeff at September 5, 2004 11:51 AM