October 06, 2004


In an effort to be the 4,712,435th person on the planet to say this, New Orleans' Bourbon Street has some really nasty stuff going on.

Oddly, I saw no public displays of pulchritude. Must have been an off-weekend. Everyone was talking about how tame it seemed. But for all that was missing in public displays of obscenity, more than enough was made up in the shops and bars.

Here are some pics of stuff I saw in stores and on the streets. They're not really safe for work, for home or - for that matter - any place outside of New Orleans.

As a sign I saw on Bourbon Street says, if you're easily offended, don't click here:

Tattoo Girl.jpg
This was an odd little nicknack. At first I thought it might have been an Axl Rose figurine. Then I took a closer look. Not really something I'd put on my Steinway, but hey, that's just me.
Butt Show.jpg
I laughed at the sheer stupidity of this at first. Then I came to see it as sort of a periodic table of ass elements. Who knew you could mix your butt fetish with T-shirt expressionism and turn it into some sort of helpful tool?
After Sex Towel.jpg
This, of course, sells with a matching set of After Sex Finger Bowls and During Sex Bibs.
Porn Stars.jpg
Yes, but not as good as they smell after a long day at work.
Shelf Porn.jpg
A category I hadn't considered before I went to New Orleans: Shelf Porn.
Some of these were salt and pepper shakers, I believe.
Bitch Fell Off.jpg
Ah, another tender motorcycle shirt.
Bitch That Fell.jpg
A matching pair!
Fuck It Up.jpg
This should be the uniform for every power-hungry freak at work.
Oh Stewardess.jpg
And to think, all I asked for was a bag of pretzels.
Queer Eye Sauce.jpg
Exhibit 1: How To Tell When Your Show Is Over.
Big Daddys.jpg
Gee. The entrance to a strip club. There's so much to play with here.
Maybe it's me, but I prefer my strippers to be alive. Stating that they actually are so makes me wonder if there's another alternative inside I don't really want to consider.
I appreciate this kind of full disclosure. It's the sign of a thoughtful and polite strip club owner.
The mind boggles at the possibilities of this conversation. I'm guessing they're talking about the weather.

Posted by Jeff at October 6, 2004 07:48 AM | TrackBack