November 01, 2004

AND NOW, A SHAMELESS PLOY FOR BLOG TRAFFIC

Luka (not her real name) over at Incogoblogo was pimping something called Blogexplosion. Supposedly it will boost traffic to your site, just by you going and clicking on other people's sites.

It had all the aroma of a blog pyramid scheme, but I decided to check out the site anyway. Turns out it's one of these nouveau "viral marketing" sites.

Here's their pitch:

You read other blog sites and they in return visit your blog. Blogexplosion is the internet's first blog exchange where thousands of bloggers visit each other's blogs in order to receive tons of blog traffic. Imagine how many other people out there could be adding your blog to their blogroller and how many people would be reading your blog every day with this sort of attention.

One question, when do you actually find time to leave the house? I mean, if we're all busy doing some sort of electronic daisy chain, when do we actually get to absorb sunlight?

There is no answer. It was rhetorical merely by the silence the question elicited.

The pitch goes on:

When you refer new members to Blog Explosion you receive 10% of the traffic they generate five levels deep. By referring new members you receive bonus blog traffic for life!

I have no idea what "five levels deep" means, but it sounds vaguely like Scientology porn.

It also annoys me that Blogexplosion exhibits the heartfelt passion for using exclamation points, which to me are the punctuarial equivalent to people who talk too close to you at a party.

Ahem.

Back to the selling text:

Blog Explosion Features!

* 2:1 traffic ratio means for every two blogs you visit, one person will visit your Blog in return!

There's also a 10:1 ratio of exclamation points to words in the previous two sentences.

* Get your blog listed in the Blog Explosion blog directory and get free trafffic as long as you are a member!

* Add unlimited blogs you want to promote!

* Add unlimited banners with clickthrough reporting to help promote your blogs

*Enter great monthly contests and win bonus Mystery Blog traffic 24/7!

*Blogexplosion provides full statistics for your blog traffic including total visitors, unique visitors, time of day, and what country your blog traffic is coming from

* Refer new members to BlogExplosion and generate huge referral traffic on five tiers (10%,10%,10%, 10%,10%). Watch your blog traffic fly as you earn a percentage of blog traffic from people you refer to BlogExplosion.

And if you click three times, kids, everyone gets a pony!

Jesus H.

Excuse me, Jesus H.!

Anyway, I'm a traffic whore (when I'm not busy being a catastrowhore). So here goes the plug:


There. That's the extent of my viral pimpage.

An update: I just tried to fulfill my Blogexplosion duties by clicking on other members. (Man, that sounds dirty.) This was the first entry on the first site I hit:
Autumn and Winter, in my humble opinion, are the perfect months to be in a relationship. The cold weather gives one more reason to snuggle up against your loved one. The winter chill erased by loving warmth. Ah, how I would love to be held like that once more.

What, Blogexplosion didn't offer to hold you like a kitten?

Posted by Jeff at November 1, 2004 06:07 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I got bit by the BlogExplosion bug, too. I spend time surfing random blogs anyway, so I figure what's it hurt to get some traffic in return.

Only problem I found surfing was it seemed to be the same sites each time I sat down to surf. And there were so many mommy sites, and politics sites that I lost interest at first. But, eyes on the prize, I endured my 30 seconds of pain and clicked the little number for the next site. I did find a few pearls in the cesspool, though, and bookmarked them for later perusal.

The down side I have found is that you stop clicking for a few days and you run out of credits and you don't get exposure anymore until you start clicking. So you have to keep doing it ritually every day. This "crack factor" may work for the slobberring masses, but for those of us with lives, that kinda sucks.

Still, I try to earmark an hour every couple days to feed the kitty for credits. And their banner impressions, hell, they were unimpressive. After hundreds of exposures only a handful of clicks. So many wasted credits.

So I will stick with BlogExplosion for now. I am sure it will improve as it matures, the site is only a few weeks old.

Posted by: Dave at November 1, 2004 02:04 PM