November 25, 2004


It's Thanksgiving, which means it's time to put the turkey fryer to use again.

Despite my family's fearful instincts to do otherwise.

Last year was the first time I attempted to fry one of those bad boys. Every relative and friend fully expected me to burn the house down, so there were some stipulations...


1. I had to put the damn thing far enough away so as not to catch fire to anything that wasn't insured.

2. I had to have it resting on a surface which would absorb flying flecks of oil.

3. I had to leave the country if I did indeed burn the house down.

So, it's safe to say I was a little hesitant to cook the damn thing. As a precaution, I bought two turkeys. One to test, the other to eat.


The test turkey came out just fine. A little underdone, but edible. And microwavable, I might add.

There was no incident. Nothing burned. Nothing was singed. No body parts were lost. No passport out of the country was needed.


That didn't stop the self appointed Safety Politburo from standing a considerable distance away from the second turkey while showing great gobs of non-verbal concern for everyone's medical well-being. Except for the dog. He could have cared less.

And what was the result?


Another perfect turkey. Delicious. Attractive. And non-scarring.

Of course there was the minor incident of me dropping the lifting hook into the boiling oil. But all was well after I ran to the garage and fished the turkey from the kettle with a Fiskars yard rake.

White-trash cooking never tasted so good.

Posted by Jeff at November 25, 2004 11:47 AM | TrackBack