December 03, 2004


No matter what you may have heard, I...

...did not get up at 4 a.m. Wednesday to drive to a seminar in Fort Lauderdale.

...did not drive 87 in a 70 mph zone on Florida's Turnpike.

...was not pulled over for speeding by a Florida Highway Patrol trooper just north of the Fort Pierce exit.

...did not find out from that trooper as he peeked his face into my passenger-side window that my license had been suspended.

...did not have a freak-out by the side of the road in the pre-dawn hours as trucks and cars were whipping by at far more than 87 mph.

...did not find out that the license was suspended because my insurance company, Metropolitan Casualty, didn't tell the state I had a policy with them.

...did not have to pay a $130 fine because of this.

...was not told that my car would have to be towed because I was now not able to drive without a license.

...did not have a second full-on freakout by the side of the road.

...was not told by the trooper to "step back to the side of your vehicle."

...did not tell the trooper I'd have someone pick me up so the tow truck could come get me.

...did not wait almost two hours by the side of the road waiting for my sister-in-law to get me from 20 miles away.

...did not tell her the wrong road on which she could find me.

...did not drive anyway to find the closest driver license office so I could reinstate my license.

...did not find only one office in a 60 mile stretch that was open because the others were wrecked by hurricane damage four months ago.

...did not leave that one open office in disgust because the wait was 5 hours long.

...did not decide to then drive 140 miles back to Tampa to get another license in Tampa.

...did not have to pass six state troopers and two sheriff's deputy cars to get to that office. And definitely didn't have to pass the guy who pulled me over in the first place.

...did not risk getting thrown in jail for driving on a suspended license.

Anyway, none of this happened on Wednesday. None of it at all. Nope. Nada. Nothing.

Posted by Jeff at December 3, 2004 07:13 AM | TrackBack

Wow! That is the King of Days That Suck, hands down!

Posted by: kat at December 3, 2004 10:50 AM

Damn Jeff!
Only two full-on freak outs? Impressive.

Posted by: lynne at December 4, 2004 01:48 PM

Good Lord.

Posted by: Meg at December 4, 2004 08:25 PM

You win.

Coincidentally, Wednesday was the day I did not demonstrate exactly what "lesbinianism" entails for the innocents at work using empty clothing from the racks as models.
Wasn't me.

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 6, 2004 11:33 AM