SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

LIVE (H)8

I'm gonna go out on a limb here.

The Live 8 concert broadcast is little more than an infomercial intended to feed the fevered egos in Hollywood and the music industry.

No money is being raised. None. Nada. Never was the intention.

On one level I can understand why. When Band Aid and Live Aid generated millions, it was an accounting nightmare. When Geldof went to distribute the food his proceeds bought, it was a logistical quagmire. Trucks broke down. Bandits hijacked food. In the end it amounted to less than a teardrop extracted from an ocean of woe. (How's that for a metaphor?)

So within that context, I can understand what the reasoning was for merely assembling a series of concerts to "apply pressure" on the governments of the eight biggest governments.

But what I'm seeing today is an abomination for anyone other than the people onstage. Past 100 yards from the performers, the people in the audience look like zombies. If the message is getting through, it's hard to see how.

The message. Ah yes.

The message here is that although governments like the U.S. have already forgiven billions in debt, the goal should have been, according to Sir Bob and Pals, to give them money beyond what was owed by the "developing" countries.

A moment to pause: We're supposed to give billions more to governments - many of which are corrupt and some of which are genocidal - that have up to now been unable to handle the money they've been loaned.

Sure. Whatever.

Wait. What's that Madonna said? What did Brad Pitt just tell me when he snapped his fingers, all high and mighty? Did Bill Gates just come and lecture me?

Nevermind. I'm much too blinded by the bling on Mariah Carey's fingers, rocks that she's got that could feed hundreds for a decade.

Sorry. I'm distracted by bright, shiny objects.

On the broadcast, the VH1 and MTV hosts are doing very little to dilute my opinion that they don't have two brain cells to rub together when it comes to discussing third-world proverty and famine. In between their yakking - did I really need the glib and talentless Jimmy Fallon to school me on social activism? - ads for fast food and cosmetics and automobiles that almost no one can afford are filling the gaps between artists.

As for the music, we're getting snippets, and very little of it is fulfilling the promise of the "live" in Live 8.

The only one raising money here? VH1 and MTV.

What a sham. What a disgrace. Tomorrow this all will be the equivalent of a small belch the morning after Thanksgiving dinner, reminding you of how guilty you feel for pigging out on all the wrong food.

Willie Drye, author of Storm of the Century: The Labor Day Hurricane of 1935, sends along this e-mail:

Hey Jeff:

Re. your Live 8 posting, you might find this interesting. It's clipped from Eric Alterman's blog, "Altercation," and was posted yesterday on MSNBC. He thinks that Live 8 is just an excuse for rock stars to feel morally superior:

This just in: I’m an idiot, I know, but I just figured out that Live 8 is not raising any money for famine relief or malaria cures or AIDS treatment in Africa. It is just designed to “pressure” G8 countries into doing what’s right. Thing is, guys, the G8 doesn’t, (and shouldn’t) care what Madonna, Elton John, U2, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Pink Floyd, Roxy Music, R.E.M., Coldplay, Bjork, Sting, Dido, Justin Timberlake, Green Day, Snoop Dogg, P. Diddy, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Celine Dion, Tim McGraw, and Faith Hill think about anything, particularly if they won’t put their own riches where their big mouths are. (Ditto Pitt, George Clooney, Will Smith, Natalie Portman and Salma Hayek.) I am in favor of harnessing the power of celebrity for global good but where’s the good in this? Good God, this is a moral crime. All that money available just for the asking—all those lives that could be saved by people who won’t miss the money -- and these guys won’t even bother to ask? They won’t even allow charities to canvass the audience. Turns out the concert is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING but moral vanity, and the exploitation of starving, sick Africans, by pampered, rich as**oles and their self-interested corporate sponsors rather than their potential salvation. This is really unspeakably shameful.

I couldn't have said it better.

Posted by Jeff at July 2, 2005 07:55 PM | TrackBack