SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Memo to self: Rent from Avis next time:

Avis offers Hummers with built-in DIRECTV

If you’re planning a trip to the Grand Canyon this summer, why not do it in a military-inspired SUV pimped out with satellite TV to keep the kids from getting antsy? That’s the deal being offered by the Avis office at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, where you can rent a Hummer H3 with built-in DIRECTV service (powered by a TracVision A5 low-profile receiver; no need for a rooftop mega-dish). Of course, all that video is going to cost you; the H3 with DIRECTV rents for about $120 per day. But that seems like a small price to pay to avoid having to subject the kids to those boring old breathtaking vistas.

Of course, you're seriously screwed if you bring the behemoth back with less than full tank of gas. Might as well buy the vehicle off the lot right there.