July 18, 2005
'A GUY WHO GOES AROUND LIKE A BAT CLEARLY HAS ISSUES'
Finally got around to seeing "Batman Begins" yesterday.
I have to say I really enjoyed it, but a few things struck me:
Christian Bale should play Tim Matheson's Otter character if they ever do a remake of "Animal House."
If Cillian Murphy fails to make it into the next Batman flick, he can always start doing James Spader's creepy oddball perv roles.
* Um, it was really freaking loud. It's hard for me to appreciate the sound design of a movie when I'm bleeding from my cochlea. My senses had been so overwhelmed by the end of the film, I had to use echo location to find my truck in the parking lot.
* In between character roles, has someone been square dancing in golf spikes on Morgan Freeman's face? Every time I see him in a closeup I feel a compulsion to take a marker and connect-the-dots on his face. The longer he acts, the more his mug looks like a bowl of Dippin' Dots. I might be wrong, but I could swear I saw the constellation Virgo on meat of his left cheek.
* Katie Holmes... babe... get a sweater. Either that or name one of your boobs Celcius and the other one Fahrenheit. They're that distracting. "She has the smallest, pointiest nipples,'' Salad Wife said, stifling back hysterical laughter at the end of the film. Apparently Scientologists really go for that sort of thing.
On second thought, Katie, forget the sweater. Your nipples are better actors than you are.
* The new Batmobile.
Damn.
Posted by Jeff at July 18, 2005 07:07 AM | TrackBackY'know, I tried my best to avoid looking too hard at Katie Holmes. She just looks... stringy... but in the picture there, she at least shows she has well-formed breasts.
How long til she gets surgery on them, I wonder. 'Cos, you know, actresses with perfect breasts always surgically screw them up.
Posted by: Josh Cohen at July 19, 2005 08:33 AM