SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

A LOT OF BULL

Took the Salad Family to Raymond James Stadium to see the game Saturday night between the University of South Florida and the University of Central Florida.

It quickly became a lopsided joke. USF won 31-14. The score really isn't indicative of how easy of a win it was for the Bulls.

As Mike Bianchi wrote in the Orlando Sentinel:

Can't do it.

Can't kick them anymore.

What would be the point?

They are already as low as you can go.

Kicking them now, after that pathetic performance against USF on Saturday night, would be like the hunter going up to Bambi's wounded mother and pumping another round of buckshot into her quivering body. Except Bambi's mother is a better run-stopper.

Just look at them and listen to them. And you can't help but feel compassion.

"Don't give up on us," UCF center Cedric Gagne-Marcoux begged the fans Tuesday.

"Don't quit on us," UCF linebacker James Cook pleaded.

I had intended to write an entire column today lambasting the community embarrassment that UCF's football program has become, but what's the point? They've already heard it enough around campus. George O'Leary already has a stack of e-mails on his desk telling him what a bum he is. And the message-board brickbats have gone from seething ("Fire O'Leary!") to sardonic ("New drinking game: Every time a UCF player misses a tackle, we drink.") to sad.

Needless to say, it was a lot of fun for Bulls fans, but it was more fun watching the crowd than the game.



Along Himes, there was this makeshift tent set up. Gotta appreciate the effort to multitask to reach the maximum number of customers.



You know your program has arrived when people start scalping tickets to your crap game.

As Dennis Miller said, "Hey folks, two of shit is shit. If they really want to screw you they'll give you three of them."



It was so quaint seeing the visiting UCF fans get so worked up over the contest. Compared to, say, UF versus FSU, this was like two beauty schools having a rumble.



At Bucs games, they usually have a dozen or so sturdy guards inspecting bags and purses or security reasons. At this game, they had two rather elderly gentlemen who looked like they just came from the balcony of The Muppet Show.



Despite having a very shallow pool of football tradition, USF did its best to rally the crowd. Which, as you can see, was spotty at best.



UCF cheerleaders attempted to do the same. And the fine folks at Raymond James did their best to disguise the stadium by rolling up the sails on the pirate ship.



A CGI bull marauding through the streets of Tampa. Mommy, make it stop!



Nice to see the Tribune's multimillion-dollar exclusive marketing agreement with Raymond James and the Bucs is airtight when it comes to the competition.



How to pronounce? Fooooozi? Futzy? Fuzzy? Futz-EYE?

Regardless, the boy registered a 9.5 on the Enthuse-o-Meter.

Which reminds me: Next time, bring the grass skirt.

Posted by Jeff at September 21, 2005 07:11 AM