October 20, 2005
AS THE SALAD WILTS
Funny bit about fantasy football last weekend from Lewis Black on HBO's "Inside the NFL":
"Fantasy football is out of control. The same guys who used to stuff me into lockers and taunt me about my troll collection all have pink-rimmed eyes, gawking into computer screens, refreshing every two minutes for real-time stats, purchasing NFL television packages for access to every game.
"Now, when I try to watch, there is so much scrolling and popping up that I can't see the play on my television. I don't care that LaDainian Tomlinson has two receptions for eight yards in the first quarter of another game that I am not even watching.
"There's a reason why people watch TV … because they don't want to read."
No shit. I mean, look at this graphic from last week's Bucs game:
Um, pardon me for caring, but can I please see the play?
Holy hell.
Anyway, I say all this in order to block the pain triggers firing in the synapses of my brain due to the bad news that's afflicted The Side Salads fantasy football team. We've dropped two in a row, the first a 143.00-128.50 stunner to Free Wins Here. (Their only win this year: against the Salads. They're so bad, they've changed their names three times. They're now the Minnesota Vikings.)
Then the Salads lost a hotly contested matchup with Jack 'n' Coke, during which the ruffage went into Monday Night Football with a healthy lead.
This result took place despite the Cokes having lost most of the team's major offensive weapons.
The Salads, which only two weeks ago led the league, are now dropping like a brick:
I have only one question:
Why didn't FEMA prevent this from happening?
This week's opponent:
