SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

YUCATAN IF YOU WANT TO

So they tell us there's a 105-mph hurricane headed relatively our way, one which just dumped 64 inches of rain in parts of Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula.

That's nice.

Right now there's barely a breeze outside. It's overcast and muggy as all hell, but it's nothing like the precursor to a 'cane. Which, you know, is good. Please don't read anything into my lack of esteem for the

I will say, though, that I heard my first "HUNKER DOWN!" today at 2:18 p.m. on the radio. Jack Harris, host on 970 WFLA-AM, uttered those immortal words.

Oh, and so did our governor:

"I cannot emphasize enough to the folks that live in the Florida Keys: A hurricane is coming," Gov. Jeb Bush said. "Perhaps people are saying, 'I'm going to hunker down.' They shouldn't do that. They should evacuate, and there's very little time left to do so."

Ahem.

We're taking the storm very seriously. So much so that Salad Wife and I had an emergency breakfast at Cracker Barrel (more on that surreal experience later).

Oh, and we're painting.

You know how it is; you go into a weekend hoping to tackle the world of interior design. Then you look at your budget and realize painting is a more realistic probability.

So you go to Lowe's and Home Depot and Benjamin Moore a few thousand times until you settle on a color: Crocodile Tears.

Then you dismantle your home.

You start with a test corner, just in case you fight with your spouse and it leads to divorce and then a selling of the house. It's much less expensive to repaint a corner that way. Plus, it leaves some extra cash for alimony.

One way to prevent divorce: strategic cropping that neither shows your bride in a compromising position nor with a lack of makeup.

Designating a non-important wall for the offspring to attack also leads to familial harmony. Sometimes.

That's Salad Boy, a future graffiti tagger if I ever saw one.

And, before you know it, half a room has a first coat. No blood has been shed. No slurs have been uttered. Nary a raised voice has been leveled, except for at the dog, who, you know, deserves such treatment for being a spaz about paint.

More weather and painting updates as they become necessary and relevent.

Posted by Jeff at October 23, 2005 05:35 PM