April 12, 2006

LET MY VEGANS GO

PupShalom.jpgHello and welcome to PassOvercompensation day.

Not content to honor the observance with one story in the paper today about tonight's seder, I apparently felt the need to contribute a story about vegetarian Jews and the carnivorous bondage from which they seek to free themselves.

Mad Hebrew vegetarian props go out to Kate at Out In Left Field for the help she provided for the story. Hell, she was the inspiration for it, for crying out loud.

A side note: If you ever get a chance to speak with Kate in a consensual phone conversation, take her up on it. She's one funny shiksa.

Kate is already anticipating the calls I'm going to get. My favorite suggestion:

"A hundred Jews in the Bay area. This is the best you could do?"

So far, I'm good, but the day is early.

Then again, think about what would have happened if I would have followed up this P.R. pitch with a story:

Sent: Tue 4/11/2006 5:02 PM
Subject: New Holiday: Gassover

Dear Jeff,

Those big family Seders and stacks of matzo we enjoy at Passover have an unspoken dark side—one that’s among society’s last taboos: the flatulence that results from gastrointestinal distress.

Instead of reflecting on the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt, we end up struggling to contain the exodus of gas.

Flatulence, irritable bowels, heartburn, indigestion, and growling guts are common Passover conditions that can be treated without polluting our bodies with antacids and other over-the-counter drugs that, for many people, don’t even work.

Interview Bill Downs, one of the world’s foremost experts on diet and digestion, and find out how Jewish families can avoid Passover eating hazards—especially certain holiday foods and treats that have seriously adverse effects on dieters and diabetics.


In a word: Oy.

I'll pass(over).

Posted by Jeff at April 12, 2006 08:16 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I'd never heard of Matzah causing farts. Constipation, yes.

Posted by: Josh Cohen at April 12, 2006 09:10 AM

I didn't want to bring up the digestion issues surrounding our celebration. Too unladylike.

Thanks for making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside - first the interview, then sending a Jewish photographer so we could kibbitz while he whispered, "Look like you lllooovvveee the apples" and then today with such a shout out.

You've got a friend for life.

Posted by: kate at April 12, 2006 09:59 AM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?