SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

CALENDAR OF DISTURBING SANTAS

We kick off the third annual edition of Side Salad's (semi/quasi/sort of) daily Santa extravaganza with an image that harnesses the sum of all fears in us: drunken, unruly behavior, smeared makeup and clowns.

She's gonna make a great ex-wife for some lucky guy.

You might want to shave those pits before New Year's, Mrs. Claus.

TOMORROW: Santa did a bad, bad thing.