April 25, 2007
WAITING IN CAR LINE WITH ANDRE
SCENE NO. 1, EXTERIOR, TWO-LANE ROAD: A father driving a red Nissan Titan is inching his way through the morning car line drop-off at a Florida middle school as his 11-year-old son puts on his backpack.
The radio is tuned to an FM station. A bank commercial is playing. A voice comes over the speakers. It is an actor portraying an old, stuffy white banker.
SON: That guy sounds like the guy who does Cookie Monster.
FATHER: Not really.
SON: He does a little.
FATHER: Okay, a little.
[A few seconds pass as the truck continues to inch forward.]
FATHER: You know, the same guy who does Cookie Monster also does Miss Piggy's voice.
SON: Hmm. I didn't know that.
[A second of silence passes.]
SON: So, he's a crossdresser?
FATHER: What?
SON: He's a crossdresser.
FATHER: No. He's not a crossdresser.
[The father pauses while suppressing his laughter and measures his words carefully.]
FATHER: Besides, it would be interspecies. Pig and monster.
SON: [laughs] So he's an interspecies crossdresser.
FATHER: No!
[Both are laughing now as the truck pulls to the end of the driveway.]
FATHER: [Singing in his best Cookie Monster voice] "C is for crossdressing. That's good enough for meeeeeee."
SON: [hysterical laughter] "C is for crossdressing, that's good enough for meeeeee."
[The truck stops and the boy gets out, takes his trombone and backpack and walks to the school entrance to start his day.]
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