May 24, 2007
IT WAS 24 YEARS AGO TODAY
A meme from my friend Craig I feel compelled to respond to for some reason:
I KNOW I've done this one, but for the benefit of my renewed acquaintances ...
Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be.
1. Who was your best friend?
Mike Stack (above, right), Louis Bode (above, left), Greg Tobias, Paul Ezzo, Sheelagh McCaughey
2.What sports did you play?
Basketball, track, spring football. All of them poorly.
3. What kind of car did you drive?
A white '77 two-door Olds Cutlass Supreme with a 356, V8 engine, bench seats and a blue half-vinyl roof. As Cartman would say: "Kick ass." I wrecked it. Several times.
4. It's Friday night, where were you?
Maybe at Stack's or Tobias' houses. Maybe at Treasure Island Amusement Center. Driving down Clearwater Beach. Maybe at church youth group.
5. Were you a party animal?
I had my moments.
6. Were you considered a flirt?
I had my moments.
7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Yeah. If you can qualify butchering the bass drum in marching band as membership.
8. Were you a nerd?
I was able to bridge the nerd/sports/journlism/Catholic youth group genres to bring each down to new lows.
9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Yes. Yes I did. Please see question No. 5.
10. Can you sing the fight song?
Are you kidding? It was a Catholic school. The closest thing we got to a fight song was singing "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" by Van Halen out in the parking lot before school.
11. Who was your favorite teacher?
Miss Connie Ehlers.
12.What was your school's full name?
St. Petersburg Catholic High School.
13. School mascot?
The Baron. I'm not making this up. Yes, we were named for a lame Spanish nobility title. Gayest. Mascot. Ever. We not only lost football and basketball games, we lost so big, they nearly qualified as hate crimes. I attribute that to the mascot.
14. Did you go to Prom?
Yep. With Ellie, a distant cousin by step-marriage from South Carolina. (She was a pretty nursing student with a large chest, a sweet Southern accent and her own car. Gimme a break. When you're 18 in 1983, that's, like, the magic combination you only read about in Penthouse Letters.)
How Southern was she? When she got mad, she'd threaten to "pole" me. As if to say, she intended to hit me with a broomstick. This drove me insane. I told her, "If I was going to threaten to run you over, I wouldn't say, 'I'm gonna car you.'" Our relationship went downhill soon after. Especially after she made it plain we would only advance to the kissing stage of romance. We broke up a year later.
What can I say, I was an optimist.
15. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
Prom? Sure. Why not? After all, I got to watch my ex-girlfriend's revenge date strip on the dance floor and get thrown out of the Don CeSar for swimming naked and drunk in their hotel pool. The Prom Queen, Julie, was so loaded, she had to be carried during the last dance by my friend Mike, who was Prom King. Made for some really great photos in the yearbook.
Would I do high school over? Not in a million years.
16. What do you remember most about graduation?
Well, it was in a cathedral, so the ceremony was rather restrained. My father couldn't be bothered to wear a tie. Graduation night? Magnifico. It's mostly a blur. Woke up on the beach behind the Don CeSar with a half-empty bottle of Jack in one hand and my head in the lap of a woman I've yet to see since and whom I would be unable to identify from a lineup today by name or image. Regardless, I owe her my life.
Later that day, I drove with my Irish friend Desmond to EPCOT. We stole a wheelchair and spent the day limping and pretending to be handicapped so we could get on rides quicker.
I've matured greatly since then.
17. Where were you on senior skip day?
See question No. 9. The school skipped it for me.
18. Did you have a job your senior year?
Several, including working at marina as a dock hand and also at a fish restaurant as a busboy. I cleaned this guy's boat once a week at a local marina, then used it to party inside with my friends, thereby necessitating another cleaning. I had tan lines around my ankles from wearing docksiders in the sun for 20 hours each weekend and I smelled like hush puppies and French fries during the week.
19. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Our shitty school cafeteria.
20. Have you gained weight since then?
That would be an understatement.
21. What did you do after graduation?
Started at FSU and finished at UF.
22. When did you graduate?
High school? 1983.
23. Who was your Senior prom date?
See question No. 14.
24. Are you going to your 10 year reunion?
You mean 14 years ago? (Can you tell this was a MySpace meme?)
No, I didn't go. Didn't do the 20th either. I didn't feel the need to pay a thousand bucks to hang with people whom I would have paid a thousand bucks to get away from in 1983.
25. Who was your home room teacher?
Miss Connie Ehlers.
26. Who will repost this after you?
To quote Tom Petty: Baby, even the losers get lucky sometimes.