June 22, 2007

STUPID COOKING TRICKS:
HOT DOG ROLLER EDITION

HotDogDancing.JPGI've written before about the pride I feel from being in possession of a hot dog roller.

What I haven't written about is the shame I've felt of late in not using the damn thing.

Despite all the joy it creates - it is a "joy creator" in the purest Thelenian definition of the term - I've neglected to deploy it as frequently as I should. That may be because it's kept in a corner on a bookshelf at work. The professional environment of late in the newspaper industry has had all of the charm of a puckered, non-bleached anus. With people losing their jobs by the bushel, rolling some Ball Parks on the grill as friends and colleagues pack their belongings has seemed as inappropriate as a Britney Spears nipple slip. (Which reminds us of that line from "A League of Their Own": "You think there are men in this country who haven't seen your bosom?") Funny how a death spiral in your life's profession can stub out mirth like a down-to-the-filter butt of a Lucky Strike.

But, hey. Who's kidding who? There's dancing at the funerals in New Orleans, right? Might as well throat a delicious casing full of animal lips and enjoy myself.

With that sentiment in mind, I decided some catching up was in order.

First mission: Fire up some franks on that bad boy.

Check that. Not just any franks.


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They had to be Super Franks.

Which, for the record, was my favorite Rick James song.

How franky were these things?

These were super franky.



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Yow.

These franks you don't take home to muthah. Especially if muthah has a low tolerence for sodium.

How long were these death torpedoes?



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In a manner of speaking, their feet hung off the bed.

Luckily, there was an easy fix.



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Let's just call it what it was: a meat byproduct briss.



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Much better.



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Unfortunately, Super Franks do not come with Super Buns.



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Not that it mattered much to my friend Rommie.




NEXT STUPID COOKING TRICK:
Race Divas Twinkies go for a roll.


Posted by Jeff at June 22, 2007 11:42 PM | TrackBack
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