April 17, 2008
BATTER UP
Greetings to everyone who is tripping into the Salad bowl from our newest, bestest buddy, David Chalk over at the Tampa Bay Devil Rays page at Bugs and Cranks.
David took a liking to some photos of a mini-brawl in left field that I took during the Rays' opening home game against the Seattle Mariners.
I would comment more, but I think I'll follow the follow the advice of Billy Joel to, "Leave a tender moment alone."
Besides, Dan Ruth put it so perfectly:
There is something magical, even in a FEMA trailer with a gland problem like Tropicana Field, when you walk up the stairs into the stands and there, suddenly spread out before you, is the field in all its glorious (albeit artificial) greenery.It's a moment of promise. A game is to be played. There will be - fun.
Of course, there would have been an awful lot more fun if only there hadn't been so many other people who insisted on attending the same game.
Nothing spoils a nice time more than having to share it with complete strangers, like the vile, hideous, loathsome children around us.
First, there was the extra from "Deliverance" who appeared to be bent on setting the world record for how many times we had to stand up to let him leave his seat. Unfortunately, he kept coming back.
Then there was the dreadful youth of about 11 or so who decided to start violently punching his brother directly across the aisle from me.
One of my many charming talents in life is the ability to scare the absolute bejabbers out of children. And although it's been awhile since we had the pitter-patter of little feet around the manse, it's nice to know I hadn't lost my touch.
"Excuse me," I seethed to the Inmate-In-Waiting, as he was busily pummeling away. "Is my trying to watch this baseball game interfering with your beating up your brother?" The thug-lite looked stunned, as if not even a parent had ever spoken to him like that before.
"Knock it off, shut up, sit down and grow up," I glared at the lad like a drill instructor. And he did - quiet as a church mouse for the rest of the game. I should rent myself out to terrify horrible tots.
You can see more photos from the evening in my Flickr gallery Including the beers-bigger-than-an-average-man's-skull they were pouring.