October 16, 2011


Most days I at work when I walk from the parking garage to the News Center I see this vehicle.

Dr.  Eminizer

Some days, seeing this car provides the bright spot amid a rather gloomy situation.

What's on the side?

Dr.  Eminizer

Sales or baseball. Baseball or sales.

Either or.


Dr.  Eminizer

Handwriting, [blank] Names. Fill in the [blank]. It's a psychic Mad Lib.

Personal note: I was previously unaware that palms had two sides.

The things you learn ...

Dr.  Eminizer

If his tag is any indication, he also enjoys excellent parking.

His bumper could have used a psychic. And a low deductible.

Let me categorically state: I LOVE THE EMINIZER. I do. Deep in places I don't talk about at cocktail parties. I need him in my life. So much so I considered hiring him to walk through the newsroom.

Then I considered what he might "predict." I didn't think we were emotionally stable enough to take the future truth.

I still might do it.

Eminizer photo

A few years back, he made the news by objecting to a requirement that all astrologers be fingerprinted:

Charles Eminizer, 68, who hires himself out as a psychic entertainer under the name Dr. Shane, can take the loophole. Look at him out of the corner of your eye and he seems to fit the profile. Think Dumbledore meets Chong. This is the face whoever wrote the fortune-teller ordinance had to have had in their head as they searched for words. But as a minister of the Universal Life Church, which charges nothing to register online, Eminizer is unaffected. He also opposes the idea of the city singling out fortune-tellers.

"Who are these people who are fortune-tellers? They're people trying to make a living the best way they can," he says. "This is just another way to hold poor people down."

Every so often, the magnetic panels swap out. It happened this week.

Dr.  Eminizer

Ah, something seasonal. Very smart.

Dr.  Eminizer

He knows if you've been sleeping. He knows when you're awake.

He doesn't know how to spell Christmas. Or Claus.

What do you want? He's Santa's brother. It's like going to see Gallagher's brother whack the watermelon. In the end, it's still not the real deal.

What do you get for your holiday psychic moolah? Here's a video sample:

Posted by Jeff at October 16, 2011 08:48 PM | TrackBack
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