SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

IF YOU HAVE FRIENDS IN BERMUDA...

...you may want to call them one last time.

Say a prayer, folks. The good people there are about to get smeared.

My favorite nonsensical quote of the day from the tiny island:

Bartender Tanya Bartel said she was taking Fabian seriously and had duct-taped the windows of her north shore apartment.

"It's going to be close, if not a direct hit," she said. "If you have enough beer, ice, candles and cards to get through the weekend, you should be OK. The big talk is, 'do people have enough beer?'"

Tanya, babe, you and your little duct-taped apartment is about to get shaken and stirred.