August 14, 2003
'CAUSE I'M FREEEEEEEEEE. FREEBALLIN'.
Regular season football is approaching, and with it comes the requisite pre-season interviews that pop up in magazines like Playboy (paging Jon Gruden and his jock) and the like.
The latest Q&A comes from the ever-loquacious Simeon Rice of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Among the gems from his interview in FHM magazine:
(On whether having a Super Bowl ring helped with attracting women)
"If you're counting on a Super Bowl to get you some pussy, then you're a sad-ass cat."
(On what he thinks about having a woman on his team)
"Is she hot? Because if she was, then she'd be getting herself pregnant by halftime."
(On who gives him inspiration)
"Walter Payton and Michael Jordan. And Bruce Lee-he was an ass-kicking son of a bitch and his philosophy was the best thing going. I see myself as a combination of the three."
And when asked if his "boys" have a home in his trousers while he's on the field of battle, he responds:
I'm definitely not freeballing. My nuts are precious. The jewels are kept in the safe and I will not relinquish the information to that safe.
There. I think we can all sleep better now.