SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

MISS PIGGY, ON A KAISER ROLL WITH MAYO

A great site called Who Would You Kill runs a poll of visitors asking which cast members of various crap TV shows should meet their maker, and how they would propose they die.

Some are fairly obvious choices. Miss Piggy would meet her maker, if the site's visitors had their way. Mr. Howell would apparently be leaving Gilligan's Island at room temperature. Ally McBeal would be Ally McDead, no doubt the result of shrapnel from some explosive pouting episode.

In one amazing statistical dead heat - especially when you consider the possible error rate of plus-or-minus 1 percent - Butt-head would take a dirt nap before Beavis.