December 04, 2003
DISTURBING SANTAS, DAY 5
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
And when I became a man...
... all the hope in my soul was extinguished by the brute force of reality, like a Lucky Strike stubbed out by the heel of a guy who just lost his paycheck at the dog track.
Thanks, mom and dad, for making me believe that a room full of Lite Brites, Spirographs and Daisy Air Rifles will appear out of thin air - with no work or effort on my part - if you only ask for them. I now have the pleasure of hoisting 23 percent interest on a six-digit credit card debt so that I can prop up what's left of that illusion.
Christmas 1991 should be paid off next year.
In case you've missed the previous days' Santas, here are Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 and Day 4.