January 03, 2004



New Year's proved the axiom true: smaller is better.

This year's festivities included hanging out in front of a neighbor's house with friends from down the street, imbibing moderate amounts of adult beverages and firing off insane amounts of incendiary devices.

The kids ran around with sparklers like Ritalin cases who had too much espresso...

...while the adults attempted to blow up the neighborhood...

...by land...

...by air...

...and then by land again.

The high point came when a 16-shot mortar tipped over like a drunken frat boy and started firing at random throughout the neighborhood. It pegged a house. It narrowly missed immolating a minivan. And then for a finale it vomited a round underneath a collapsable lawn chair and started a fire. Nothing major. About the size of the bonfire Jimi Hendrix lit when he set his guitar ablaze. We tamped it out, but the burn mark on the dried grass of the front lawn remains, like the spot of a burnt offering to the gods Cuervo and Smirnoff.

Posted by Jeff at January 3, 2004 10:39 AM | TrackBack

That's pretty much what we did last year. Thanks for jogging the nostalgia bone.

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 3, 2004 12:09 PM

Sitting outside, wearing shorts on New Year's Eve sure seems strange (but damned nice) to this Jersey Guy. Oh yeah, shooting off fireworks like that (fireworks are illegal here) would beget a visit by the police, who would take away the fireworks and threaten a summons. Of course that means that the cops (and the cops' kids) always have the best fireworks.

Posted by: Parkway Rest Stop at January 3, 2004 05:54 PM

I've never seen a single picture of anyone looking good sitting in a lawn chair. It's like by the very act of sitting on crisscrossed plastic fiber, you transform into a dork or dorkette. Shouldn't we have a highly funded government study of this very thing?

Posted by: Tammy at January 5, 2004 04:06 PM