SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

CINCO DE MAYO: A POSTSCRIPT
(PART 1)

Well, Cinco de Mayo didn't go as planned.

I had grand designs for this to be the highlight of the Year of the Sombrero, a high holy day for Hispanic hats, as it were.

The day's potential for glory clearly exceeded my grasp.

First, I had a seminar to attend. The moderator brought up during a break that I do something called The Sombrero Project. That prompted me to produce a backpack full of decorations I brought to work. They included:

A ceramic chili pepper taco holder; a squeaky sombrero-wearing prairie dog; a bottle of Tapatio sauce (the man on the front of the label wears a sombrero); sombrero salt and pepper shakers; an expandable sombrero centerpiece; 8-foot-long sombrero garland; a Mexican shawl; and a photo collage of sombrero statues taken at South of the Border.

I started busting these out during the seminar. The reaction went from laughter to pity moans in about 10 seconds. Unfortunately it took me 30 seconds to unload it all on the table. I didn't care. I couldn't stop myself.

Then, once the seminar was over at midday, I went back to my desk and reassembled the display. There was almost universal indifference by my co-workers.

What I didn't have was an actual sombrero. My Official Professional Sombrero was in the back of my wife's car (I brought it to a party and forgot it was back there). I had a second sombrero, but I loaned that one out.

Here's the scenerio:

Time: 8 a.m.
Date: May 5
Scene: A knock on my door
Action: I open the door to see my neighbor Autumn, who is dating my other neighbor, Mike.
Dialogue: "Mike has a Cinco de Mayo party today and wondered if he could borrow your sombrero.''

Sure, I say, no problem, since I have two.

I give her a new one I bought just for the day.

I go back in the house, discover my other sombrero is M.I.A.

I then realize I will be sombrero-challenged the entire day. That's a bad, bad realization to have on Cinco de Mayo. Take my word.

Then I had to work late and didn't get to go to the baseball game in Clearwater where they were giving out free sombreros to the first 500 fans at the ballpark.

I did have the good fortune to have my friend Al shooting pictures of it all, so maybe he'll share in the next few days.