May 11, 2004
THE KING IS DEAD
Comedian Alan King died Sunday at age 76. There's a a good bio of him here.
I once saw him perform standup. He was a master of timing and setup. I've heard him described as "Jack Benny with an edge." Benny probably wished he was as versatile as King, who could do drama in a film like "Casino" as well as he could comedy.
And true to his borscht-belt roots, he could kill with one-liners.
Here are some of my favorites:
""As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.''
………""If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.''
………
""Banks have a new image. Now you have a friend, your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?''
………""Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.''
………A Jewish man asked his wife if she would like diamond jewelry, a new car or a trip for their anniversary. She responded that she wanted a divorce.
"Oy vey," the man replied. "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
………On his parent's Russian roots: King took his mother, Minnie, to see "Fiddler on the Roof," thinking the fictitious village of Anatevka might bring back memories of her own childhood village. "And when the show was over and we were back on the street," Mr. King wrote in his autobiography 'Name-Dropping: The Life and Lies of Alan King', "I said, 'Ma, how did you enjoy it? Did it bring back memories?'"
"'It was wonderful,' she said. 'Only I don't remember so much singing.' "………
On Jewish Holidays: King made famous the short summary of every Jewish holiday: "They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat."
………On meeting royalty: Following a performance for the British Royal Family, he was introduced to Queen Elizabeth. "How do you do, Mr. King?" she is reported to have said. "How do you do, Mrs. Queen?" he said.