SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

YOU'RE 'BOUT TO LOSE CONTROL
LIKE A RUBBERBAND MAN

Collect rubber bands, if you must.

Collect them in a manner which creates an impressive display, if you have to.

But for the love of all things holy and sacred...

...don't name your rubber ball "Reba."

Check out how humiliated the dog looks. It's like he's looking at the guy and thinking, "Dude, get some dignity."