July 20, 2005
ENEMY OF THE SALAD
In April, I introduced a new concept to the Salad Bowl - the compilation of an enemies list.
As I explained at the time:
I'm not the kind who exact tolls or contemplates elaborate schemes of revenge. But that doesn't mean that I can't harbor great cesspools of hatred for various persons and entities. I'm a human being. I'm imperfect. I have personal fatwas tumbling through the laundromat dryer in my head, just like the next guy. And so I've decided to feed that weak link in my nature by putting it on display here so that others may learn and gain enjoyment from my example.
Since that time, I've had a fairly tranquil summer, one that's been full of fun and frolicking.
But summer temperatures have reached a boiling point. And so have I.
The source of much of that heat comes from advertising.
For the past three weeks I've been unable to get the Fanta jingle out of my head.
Want a Fanta, Don't you want a... Want a Fanta, Don't you want a... Want a Fanta, Don't you want a... Want a Fanta, Don't you want a... Want a Fanta, Don't you want a... Want a Fanta, Don't you want a...
It's all so artificial and maddening and very, very Euro trash. And apparently, I'm not the only one that despises the campaign.
And since it's all impersonal and impractical to hate on the Coca-Cola company, mother ship of the demon Fanta brand, I'll just hate the spokesqueens, Kiki, Capri, Sophia and Lola.
As Low Culture says, "The Rich (and the Fantanas) Are Different From You and Me."
Dear God, let's hope so.
Ladies, bring your glasses of ice over here for a big, tall drink of STFU.
PREVIOUS ENEMIES OF THE SALAD
Enemy No. 1: Matthew Lesko
I HATE the Fanta thing! The jingle, the girls, the cheesy ads! Good to know I'm not alone.
Posted by: Sarah at July 20, 2005 08:32 AMIt does get old, but I will say this: I applaud their ad agency for coming up with a parody of their own ads with the "Greatest Hit" album. THAT was funny. The first time.
Posted by: Josh Cohen at July 21, 2005 07:37 AMI can't decide if I want to be Capri or Lola!
Want a Fanta, Don't you want a...