July 21, 2005
THE CARROT CHRONICLES, EPISODE 3
Death has been confirmed. All is lost.
Mitch's Penis Carrot is no more.
Sentiments have been overwhelming. The affection for this carrot is so strong, Al brought in a miniature casket for the thing.
It was a lovely gesture, really. The carrot fit perfectly into the capsule.
We're not sure where to take it from here. Rommie suggested a Viking burial ceremony, in which we'd float it down the Hillsborough River. Someone else mentioned a funeral pyre.
I guess we could always prop it up with a beer, the way they buried that Steelers fan who wanted to be buried in his Barcolounger.
We'll figure out some sort of dignified farewell, I'm sure.
My sympathies, Mitch. I know how much the penis carrot meant to all the the Trib. It is a great loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I wonder if buried in the ground penis carrot could spring forth new life. Fresh new penis carrots. They could never take the place of the original, though.
Posted by: Grace at July 21, 2005 12:41 PMMy deepest condolences on your great loss. If there is a heaven for penis carrots, I'm sure he's there right now, looking down on us with love.
Posted by: Mike at July 21, 2005 08:43 PM