SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

(DON'T) START ME UP

I enjoyed Thursday night''s start of the NFL season, especially since Tom Brady threw for 300 yards and two touchdowns. (Fantasy league points... schwing!)

Anyway, I was impressed with the pre-game, as well as the game, but a few things struck me as odd:

Have things gotten so bad for the Rolling Stones that Charlie Watts has to dress like his drum kit?


The nice thing about musical superstardom for Mick Jagger is that he can save money by wearing hand-me-downs from Michael Jackson.


Jagger is so skinny, he's acting as his own microphone stand.


This wireless mike, his favorite, is reportedly nicknamed, "David Bowie."


They showed a brief shot of the Oakland Raiders locker room before the game, including footage of former Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive lineman Warren Sapp.
Wait. What's going on with the back of his head?


Sorry. I forgot. Warren is part shar pei.


One of the coolest moments was when Ozzy Ozbourne appeared from beneath a retractable helmet in the end zone, under which the New England Patriots emerged while he sang "Crazy Train." It was a real "Monster Garage" kind of moment.


That fog, by the way, is a visual metaphor for Ozzy's thought processes.


Good lord. Any more eyeliner and we'd have to call him Ozzy Minnelli.
By the way, that's Ozzy with a 'Z.'


I don't like to make predictions, but I'm guessing that after this encounter, every man this girl will ever grow up to date and marry will fail to live up to this moment in her life.


Trisha Yearwood was perched about 250 feet up on a ledge near the upper deck of the stadium as she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."
There hasn't been a woman that heavy hauled up on a pedestal since they installed the Statue of Liberty.


John Madden got a little racy during the broadcast by showing a little too much skin.
Where?


In the "Forbidden Triangle."


Chris Berman had a busy night, first hosting the ESPN pre-game show, and then...


...showcasing his journalism impartiality by schmoozing in a luxury suite with Patriots' owner Bob Kraft over a glass of chablis.


Is it me or is Berman starting to resemble...


Tampa Bay Devil Rays owner Vince Naimoli???
Nah. But that hair is making him dangerously close to looking like...


Googly eyed "Hollywood Squares" alum Marty Allen.


Not to worry. All was settled by a fine display of sombrero appreciation.

Posted by Jeff at September 9, 2005 08:12 AM | TrackBack