July 02, 2006

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Last month, I ruminated on how much I was looking forward to redeeming myself from a pyrotechnical standpoint.

I believe redemption is truly at hand.

My neighbor Patrick and I drove up to the Phantom Fireworks on Fowler Avenue on Saturday to get us some boom-booms.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks1.jpg

Didn't this used to be a Denny's? Maybe it was Pier 1.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks1a.jpg

Ah, the two-fer. Almost makes it seem like you're stealing from the company. Up until you realize how ridiculously overpriced fireworks are.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks1b.jpg

Uh, no problem with this. Whatsoever.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks3a.jpg

So much explosive stupidity to choose from.

And you've gotta love the names on some of these things.


JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks2.jpg

Chaos? Really? I think that's overstating this device's power just a bit.

In mathematics and physics, "chaos theory" describes the behavior of certain nonlinear dynamical systems that under certain conditions exhibit a phenomenon known as chaos. Among the characteristics of chaotic systems, is sensitivity to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, the behavior of systems that exhibit chaos appears to be random, even though the system is deterministic in the sense that it is well defined and contains no random parameters. Examples of such systems include the atmosphere, the solar system, plate tectonics, turbulent fluids, economics, and population growth.

Unless I experience some turbulent fluids in my shorts, I'd say this explosive device falls short of its billing.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks3.jpg

Fireworks only Tony Soprano could love.

Wasn't this guy on the boxes of Godfather's Pizza?


JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks1c.jpg

Thermobaric warhead, anyone?

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks5.jpg

I, of course, found a favorite on the shelf.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks4.jpg

This was Joshua Bell of Zephyrhills. He and his buds were tipping the cart at more than $500. They were planning on lighting them off Saturday night.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks6.jpg

In the end, we maxed out at $286.67, with tax. After a certain amount, they give you some bonus stuff, so we got free rockets, a repeater named Mid-Air Mayhem and a t-shirt.

JeffAndPatrickBuyFourthOfJulyFireworks6a.jpg

We're gonna get our boom on. In a big way.


Posted by Jeff at July 2, 2006 01:39 PM | TrackBack
Comments

It was a Pier One, you are correct, sir.
This post is actually a story about why my dogs hate American Independence.

Posted by: Sandy at July 2, 2006 08:43 PM

That's nothin, I was 45 this weekend and my birthday cake had more candles than that.

Posted by: Laura at July 3, 2006 11:54 AM

I am Jealous!!!

Posted by: Drew at July 3, 2006 03:19 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?