November 06, 2006
WATCHING TV WITH ANDRE
SCENE NO. 1: INTERIOR. HOME LIVING ROOM.
A father and his 11-year-old son are watching television during a weekend afternoon. The father is flipping through channels with a remote control, desperately searching for something meaningful to watch. The remote trips over a showing of "The Breakfast Club," co-starring Emilio Estevez. The father leaves it on that channel.
SON: [in casual voice] Is Emilio Estevez related to Charlie Sheen?
FATHER: [blankly] Yes.
[Several seconds of silence pass.]
SON: And Charlie Sheen is related to Martin Sheen?
FATHER: [in a monotone] Yes.
SON: Emilio was in "Mighty Ducks," right?
FATHER: Yep.
[Several more seconds of silence pass.]
SON: Why is his name Estevez?
FATHER: I don't know. Street cred.
SON: Huh?
FATHER: His father's real last name is Estevez and I think he didn't want to use his father's name to get work.
SON: Oh.
FATHER: It's working perfectly, by the way.
SON: It is?
FATHER: Yeah. Emilio's not working much today.
[30 seconds of more silence]
SON: I think they're all really good actors.
FATHER: Okay.
SON: You don't think so?
FATHER: I'm not one to criticize a Sheen.
[Minutes pass this time. The scene where Estevez decks Judd Nelson in the library comes on.]
SON: I like Charlie Sheen.
FATHER: Oh?
SON: Yeah. I think, you know, he's, like, a really good person. He seems like a good person. Like a role model.
FATHER: I see.
[Minutes pass.]
SON: Are there other Sheens?
FATHER: I believe so, yes.
SON: What are their names.
FATHER: There's a brother. I think his name is Ramon.
SON: Any others?
FATHER: There's one named Afro.
SON: Afro Sheen?
FATHER: Yep.
SON: What's Afro Sheen?
FATHER: It's a hair-care product.
SON: He made a hair-care product?
FATHER: Yep. Makes your hair shiny.
SON: I'll have to try that sometime.