January 03, 2007
LETTER FROM KATE
I've stated before on numerous occasions: I get the best e-mail.
Like this exchange I had with my friend Kate. In between her pinup photo sessions,(seriously, Kate, even Bob Guccione wouldn't have combined a robe, a glass of wine, a fireplace and a pint of Ben & Jerry's), she and I occasionally play verbal handball.
For some reason, she decided, out of the blue, to tell me yesterday about a close encounter a family member had with the head of the Cathols. Kate gets very animated when relatives make CNN.
She writes:
My brother and sister-in-law were in Italy and stood in line starting at 6 p.m. to catch the Pope's midnight mass on Christmas Eve.
Michael said it was worse than Lollapalooza and Wembley Stadium during a soccer match *combined*.
"Imagine 3,000 people trying to get through the doors of your local church. The doors to the Bascilica are taller but they are not wider. And dude, no one acted Christlike. 'Cept for me."
Michael had old Italian women kicking him in the legs. A few Germans pushed at his torso. And an Asian dude side tackled Chelsie. Don't kid yourselves - pilgrims are in it to win it.
At any rate, here is Michael and Chelsie's 3 seconds of fame. I timed it. Watch the center, right hand side of the clip and at :04 seconds - :07 seconds you can see them. Michael gets cut quick but you can't miss Chelsie's big ass grin as she looks back at my brother. I kept hitting the restart button underneath the player window - not just to see my relatives seeing the Holy See, but because church music never gets old.
Pope Fever - catch it - blessed a couple of children and Michael swears he put in a good word for his "Heeb sister." So now I guess we're covered. Just in case.
Here is the link.
To which I replied:
I high-fived JPII when I was 17 in Vatican Square as he passed by in his pope mobile.
As I tried to get another high-five a few minutes later, two nuns kicked a chair from underneath me in an effort to get closer.
Bitches gotta know when to stop.
To which she replied:
Okay, that made my green tea come out through my nose.
Which reminds me - what's up with the dreidel biscuit? Is your dog Jewish? What's going on there...?
To which I replied:
The dogs' names are Abraham and Lincoln. You do the math.
Seriously, a friend at work gave us the cookies. I was merely demonstrating that they had been deployed - kind of the way Castro holds up a newspaper to prove he's not dead.
Posted by Jeff at January 3, 2007 05:47 AM | TrackBack