February 25, 2007
SOUTH BEACH: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
UNFORTUNATE PRODUCT NAME:
Bong Spirit vodka
Because if there's an image you want to associate about the purity of your vodka, it's bong water.
UNFORTUNATE DISPLAY OF 'MANTIES':
This guy, who was getting a fake tattoo applied by a woman pimping booze.
Remember boys, if you're going to the FNSBW&FF, wear your cool underwear.
UNFORTUNATE PIMPED-OUT RIDE:
This Chevy Impala
When people point and laugh at your sled as you cruise down Deco Drive, you may want to pull back on the Iron Cross spinners.
UNFORTUNATE PROMOTIONAL BANNER PLACEMENT:
This sign, which was planted outside Stage A, where Anthony Bourdain was doing all of his appearances.
You don't think Food Network was trying to retaliate for this lovely bit of writing, do you?
Neither do I.
UNFORTUNATE LENGTH OF MINISKIRT WORN BY A DRAG QUEEN:
I've never been more thankful for pantyhose in my life.
UNFORTUNATE GROUP POSE WITH A FAMOUS CHEF:
This group corraled "Top Chef" co-host Tom Colicchio outside Bourdain's session.
Problem No. 1: The woman on the left, who was clearly pickled, kept screaming, "Are you someone I should know? Are you a celebrity?"
Colicchio took it very, very well and kept posing.
Until Problem No. 2 arose:
The women who were shooting the photo of the group decided arbitrarily that while they had their celebrity chef waiting, they'd take their own photo instead. Because, you know, he has loads of time to kill and wants only to spend it posing with people who only vaguely know who he is.
UNFORTUNATE BOOK SIGNING MOMENT:
Came while Tyler Florence and Rachael Ray were autographing books for their fans.
The fans were more than polite. Ray did her best under difficult circumstances to smile for everyone who was screaming her name from all angles.
Which, of course, drew some onlookers from the adjacent beach.
Hey, Larry. Moe and Shemp called. They want you to put your pants on.
UNFORTUNATE KODAK MOMENT:
Cost to ask a security guard to take your photo at the FNSBW&FF: Nothing.
Value of "letting it all hang out" with the girls at South Beach: (Warning: The link below is not safe for work)
Priceless.
Oddly, this was the second unveiling I saw within about a 10 minute span.
SUGGESTED SONG WITH THIS POST: "Here For The Party" by Gretchen Wilson