September 26, 2007
TIME FOR ANOTHER CRAP SAFARI
It's hard to believe, given how big a fan I am of all things stupid, that it's been more than two years since my last hardcore Crap Safari, and it was kind of lame at that. The previous one I went on at the Ruskin Flea Market was much more productive.
Anyway, so when Salad Wife and Salad Mother-In-Law mentioned going to Southern Hospitality Furniture & Decor in Plant City last weekend, I jumped at the chance.
SoHo, as they call it, is chock full of stuff you always fear will end up in your house when you're too elderly to still have taste.
Its main redeeming qualities: you can find good prices on unique furniture and inexpensive stuff to decorate with. The place has a decent frame shop as well. And more candles than the Vatican. Oh, and the staff is helpful and nice.
But if you go, go for the kitsch.
I call this figurine, "Bambi's Sweet Revenge."
I love that the 10-point buck is wearing a cammo hat as well.
Count the conceits with me, will you?
1. Baby dolphin swimming next to dissected mother dolphin.2. Mother dolphin has an entire undersea diorama in her thoracic cavity.
3. Mother dolphin's diorama includes an entire seabed ecosystem with sand, coral and underwater plant life.
4. Mother dolphin's diorama also is inhabited by a miniature dolphin, as well as a clam, snail and two other reef fish.
Dead baby angel. How quaint.
It's more than a ceramic shoe.
It's the ugliest potpourri burner ever.
Talk about value-added!
:::Putting on my best Ricky Bobby voice::::
"Dearest 8-pound, 5-ounce Musical Baby Jesus..."
I love that they mix the Old Testament story of the ark with the New Testament nativity tale.
Where's Noah? Pushed overboard, no doubt.
Nozzle placement was key on this one.
Oh. My. God.
A screaming eagle mounted on a buffalo skull with two feathered dream catchers?
I have found my crap grail.
It should shock no one that when I found out this was out of stock, I special-ordered one.
To see the rest of the SoHo crap safari, click here.