Hi. Sorry I can't take your call. I'm busy getting an F.
Leave your number and I'll call back.
Salad note: There have been technical difficulties with the service
that publishes this site. Please be patient - the site will be back up soon.
...what famous people will tell you
when you lock them in a small, dark room and
deprive them of human contact.
Wasn't this the title of a Cat Stevens song?
"Oh peace pumpkin sounding louder/Glide on the peace pumpkin"
This may be the only time in recorded history that a knife
was encouraged as a tool for peace.
I've been an avid reader of the New York Times' Web site
for years. They do amazing things with graphics and sound that are intigrated with companion print stories.
But I hadn't heard about this wing of its site.
Considering how off-putting and hoity-toity an attitude that the NYTimes projects, it's remarkable that they would deign to answer questions from the general public.
Then again, how many questions does Bureau Chief for Shanghai, Seth Faison, get from his dedicated readers? Seth's probably ecstatic for any kind of public attention.
While I'm sure this database of spoken word collections
spanning the 20th century has educational value and significance,
I'm at a loss at 6:17 a.m. to tell you exactly what that might be.
I'll have to check back at this site when I've had a full night of sleep.
A question for the ages:
Which is worse: Using a Slurpee to shoplift candy
or creating a Web page to promote the method?
I'm not certain what to make of this alleged tribute to stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen.
Are kitties a good enough reason to take your own life?
Where do kittens come from?
From gay bars, of course.
There's a fine line between quirky and stupid. I can't tell which side of the
line that Google Fight falls on.
Someone clearly has too much time to HTML.
I don't know if you've tripped across McSweeney's humor site, but
some days it can be a downright scream.
This day was one of the recent best.
I'm a huge South Park fan. Have been since the days of the bootleg Jesus vs. Santa video that was circulating before the show began. I'm all about busting through taboo and making people laugh from being uncomfortable.
The song "Uncle Fucka" in the South Park movie made me laugh to the point I almost coughed up blood.
And I laughed again when they put the wheelchair-bound kid Timmayyyyyy on the show. Somehow they made the character funny - in a way he would have been funny even if he wasn't in a wheelchair.
But I can't imagine putting this lovely item on my Christmas wish list.
I know there was a time when David Letterman wanted to
blow off the Top 10 list, but the show still comes up with some
Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is A Cannibal
10. You see repairmen go in, but you never really see them come out
9. Your name: Lou Levy; recipe on his refrigerator: "Lou Levy Almandine"
8. Lives alone, yet at his garage sale, had men's and women's shoes in most sizes
7. Asks if sailors count as seafood
6. Sues Denny's for false advertising over its so-called "Lumberjack Breakfast"
5. Calls his hot tub "the slow cooker"
4. At Halloween, he always has extremely realistic skeletons on the porch
3. You ask for a beer, he replies, "They're in the fridge next to Steve"
2. Says, "I'm in the mood for a Mexican...I mean Mexican"
1. The "pork shoulder" he serves you is wearing a wristwatch
Maybe we should rename the Tribune's food section from Flavor to Flava:
In in an effort to improve its ratings and image among young viewers,
is discussing using "cutting-edge" slang on its newscasts. In an internal
memo cited by media organizations this week, a CNN producer suggested
adding hip-hop phrases such as "flava," slang for "style," to make the
news more accessible to a younger audience.
You know, sex is great. Really. I'm a big fan. Always have been.
But is it really worth this much work?
There's nothing quite as purifying as purging your soul in an e-mail.
It certainly must have been quite a psychic exorcism for Robert Hughes,
Time magazine’s legendary art critic, to excoriate the former head
of Time-Warner, Gerald Levin.
“How can I convey to you the disgust which your name awakens
in me?” begins Hughes to Levin. “The merger with Warner
was a catastrophe. But the hitherto unimagined stupidity, the blind
arrogance of your deal with Case simply beggars description.
“How can you face yourself knowing how much history,
value and savings you have thrown away on your mad,
ignorant attempt to merge with a wretched dial-up ISP? . . .
“ I don’t know what advice you have to offer, but I have
some for you. Buy some rope, go out the back, find a tree
and hang yourself. If you had any honour you would.”
When Hughes isn't berating art that almost no one is looking at.
The best part of this little tantrum is that
the anectdote was revealed in a first-person,
lo-how-the-mighty-have-fallen column by
former Vanity Fair/New Yorker/Talk magazine editor Tina Brown.
What a crotch kick it must be for Brown to have
to genuflect to the Times for a little patch of newshole.
The Onion does a great spoof on our perennial Christmas toy safety stories.
I was wondering about this myself.
Good to see Stephen Hawking is out on tour.
Apparently Serena Williams saw this naval ring in the window and couldn't resist.
Loved this passage today in a Washington Post story about a documentary
shot during George W. Bush's presidential run:
"George W. Bush's bus had broken down in South Carolina
a few days before the primary. The Texas governor hitched a ride
on the press bus and began bantering with NBC News producer
Alexandra Pelosi, who always had her home video camera ready.
"Pelosi -- with her purple wardrobe, purple glasses
and saucy questions about Bush's mood and diet -- was the black sheep
of a buttoned-down press corps. Bush could relate,
and he had taken to playing along.
"'Let's be serious,' Pelosi said after discussing bologna sandwiches.
'If you were a tree, what tree would you be?'
"'I'm not. I'm a Bush," he replied.
"The words never graced a yard sign or television commercial,
but 'quicker than you think' might well have been the slogan
of Bush's 2000 presidential campaign."