December 14, 2004


Uh oh. Looks like my friend Willie was again out cruising the Web for tales of na'er-do-wells. Ridiculous news is to Willie like heroin was to Kurt Cobain.

Anyway, Willlie knows my fondness for mascot mischief. So he passed along this juicy news bite:

University mascot avoids jail on drug charges

WILMINGTON, N.C. -- A former University of North Carolina at Wilmington student who acted as the school's mascot won't serve time in jail for marijuana and Valium possession, court officials said.

Okay, let's stop here.

Isn't being a mascot enough of a psychotropic experience? You're inside a big furry suit. You're not allowed to talk. You're high-fiving strangers while kids punch at your groin. What good are downers and weed going to do?

But I digress.

Thomas C. Moorefield pleaded guilty Thursday to five misdemeanor offenses and was given a 225-day suspended jail sentence by District Court Judge John Carroll III, who also ordered 24 to 36 months of probation.

Moorefield, 21, was one of two students this school year who donned the feathered Seahawk head and wings at sporting events and other goodwill activities. After sentencing Thursday, he left the area with his father and returned to his Georgia home, Assistant District Attorney Holt Trotman said.

Let me say that, as a father, I know Mr. Moorefield had to be proud of his little Seahawk.

Can you imagine the deafening silence of the ride home?

University spokeswoman Mimi Cunningham said Friday that Moorefield no longer was a student at UNC-Wilmington.

Well, that's comforting to know.

Moorefield was arrested Nov. 5 and charged with felony sale of marijuana and Valium. He was relieved of his mascot duties after the arrest. Moorefield was convicted of simple possession of marijuana and Valium and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Relieved of his duties? Is he on the Joint Chiefs of Staff? He's a walking puppet, for crissakes.

Posted by Jeff at December 14, 2004 08:02 AM | TrackBack

I used to deliver balloons and singing telegrams, and as a job consequence, spent several parades representing our company... inside a racoon suit.
The smell and the view from inside that giant chicken-wire, papier mache head while gladhanding kiddies down the main drag in 90+ degree heat would make anyone turn to drugs just to get inside the thing. Marching in a stupourous fog was just the icing.

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 14, 2004 03:07 PM

Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this
[picks up an ashtray] or this lamp...or this chair....GREAT header. LOL

Posted by: Cupie at December 15, 2004 10:38 PM

"... or this paddle-ball game ..."

I've befriended two professional mascots during my time, and it's curious to note that both of them smoked ridiculous amounts of pot. (I must point out that I never, ever joined them in the parking lot before the game. Absolutely not.) LeeAnn's theory is not without merit, but what do they do when they get the munchies?

Posted by: Rommie at December 22, 2004 10:57 PM