SIDE SALAD - Everything crunchy is good.

WHAT'S UP, DOC?

Rommie and I came back from lunch today at Jimbo's Barbecue to find Mitch grinning like a fool.

"You want to see something?" he says, clutching his hands together.

Of course, we say.

"You sure?" he asks?

By now, he's so full of joy I suspect he might let loose a submissive piddle.

"This is the ultimate, man," he tells me and Rommie, who, as you can see, is equally as bemused by the mystery.

What is it?

A carrot with what looks to be a penis.


Here's a better look.


Mug shot, hanging right...


...and mugshot left.

(I added the quarter for scale.)

After witnessing the spectacle, we all immediately go into hyperactive "you've gotta sell it on eBay" mode, after which we take a million photos of it for posterity and potential sale.

But then that would require it to leave our presence. And that would be wrong, because it belongs in Mitch's Pantheon Of Disfigured, Disgusting and Otherwise Odd Food, such as the Ore Ida Penis French Fry that co-worker Karla found while making dinner one night last November and brought it in for our examination:

Mitch keeps most of the Pantheon in a Ziploc in his desk. The various items are becoming quite an impressive collection, although it has diminished in recent months due to decompsition:

To review, the Pantheon includes:

The M&M with a nipple.


The diseased, flagellating pork rind.


The Siamese jellybeans.


And the slice of crustless bread that has yet to mold after almost three years of exposure.

Posted by Jeff at July 13, 2005 12:19 AM | TrackBack