June 12, 2006
RETURN OF THE CATASTROWHORE
Could it really be the third season of storm coverage in the Salad Bowl?
Seems like only yesterday I started exploiting mayhem for cheap site traffic.
Now we've christened another year with Tropical Storm Alberto, which is not a girl of a tropical depression, not yet a woman of a hurricane.
Packing winds no stronger than a hair dryer, it nonetheless has dumped some much needed rain on Florida.
And by "Florida," I mean my lawn.
Damn thing is so dry in places, it technically qualifies as shreaded wheat.
Something about seeing those flaming-red pustules in the middle of the Gulf gives me the chills.
It's like seeing Woogie's boil-filled face in "There's Something About Mary." It's fascinating and repulsive at the same time.
Seeing the red over Bloomingdale gives me the cool, tingling sensation that I won't have to water my lawn for a week.
Good times.
It helps that I love the kind of rain that comes with a storm like this. It isn't the ever-present vermicelli rain I lived with in Anchorage or the runny-nose rain of Juneau. This is silver dollar pancake rain, the kind that takes only one drop to saturate 5 layers of clothing.
There's no use running in it. That only accelerates the rain you get all over you when you're trying to make your way from the car to the front door.
At a certain point, just walk, you know? It's only water, fer crissakes. People act sometimes like it's nuclear acid falling from the skies.
Where's Alberto headed? To Florida's armpit, of course. Lovely part of the state, but metaphorically, intellectually and physically, it is the armpit. If you've ever driven through Chiefland - no one ever stops - you know of which I speak.
Stay tuned to Side Salad for all your Tropical Storm Alberto blogging. I'll post photos as they become post-worthy.
"People act sometimes like it's nuclear acid falling from the skies. "
Ain't that the truth? Sheesh, I had less than half my students in class this morning, due to the "weather."
Posted by: tim at June 12, 2006 10:59 AMWhere's the lightning? What's the point of rain without lightning and thunder?
Posted by: Addison at June 12, 2006 11:49 AMI want "Young Frankenstein" lightning, dammit!
Posted by: Jeff at June 12, 2006 01:05 PMNeverending apologies for the C comment. I keep getting that stick-in-your-craw-for-eternity and terminal loneliness part of your personality mixed up.
Posted by: Anna at June 14, 2006 05:56 PMI wear the Catastrowhore moniker like a badge of honor. In a lonely, grudge-holding kind of way, of course.
Posted by: Jeff at June 15, 2006 08:55 PM