Summer's coming. I can smell it.
Or at least I can smell the popcorn at the movie gigaplex.
Lots of films will be dancing in our laps for attention. Lucas and Spielberg will do battle. Madagascar is getting good buzz. Johnny Depp will weird things out as Willy Wonka.
My eye is on the Clooney-free Batman Begins. Hope the film is as good as the trailer. It's gotta be in order to rescue the series from the crap heap it had fallen into.[Link]
Sid & Marty Krofft's sci-fi classic is available for the first time together on DVD April 26th. A sudden earthquake sent the Marshall family back to the days of the dinosaurs, and now you, too, can revisit the past with Rhino Home Video's release of ""Land of the Lost'' … Seasons 1, 2 & 3. The complete series debuts on DVD just days after Universal Pictures announces that it has acquired screen rights to ""Land of the Lost'' and will develop it for the big screen as a starring vehicle for Will Ferrell.Um, Will Ferrell?
Marshall, Will, and Holly,If you want to see the opening video, here's the link.
on a routine expedition,
met the greatest earthquake ever known.
High on the rapids,
it tossed their tiny raft,
and tossed them down a thousand feet below,
to the Lannnnnnnnnnnnnd of the Lost.
DELAND, Fla. - A skydiving cinematographer was killed after his legs were severed in a midair collision with the airplane he had jumped from, authorities said.
Albert Wing III had already deployed his parachute Saturday when he struck the left wing of the DHC-6 Twin Otter propeller plane at about 600 feet, a witness on the ground told police.
Rev. Joe Kendall, star of the show "Pastor Cop," 1996's Crimefighting Clergyman of the Year and an avid baseball fan who covered 2004 Spring Training for the Salad Bowl, sent me a few thoughts after going to see Reba McEntire in concert on Saturday night:
Please stand by. Technical difficulties are still being overcome.
A new (and hopefully improved) Salad Bowl will soon be available.
Thank you for your endless amount of patience.
As if I needed more convincing lately that the Amish are the smartest ones on the planet by eschewing electronic tools of torment, I continue to have problems with my blog software.
Please be patient, dear reader. (That means you, mom.) I'm very much at the moment like the title character in "Marty," bumbling like a hulk of manflesh with a mouthfull of spaced-out Chicklets, careening from one ignorant technological moment to the next. I may have to divorce and remarry to a woman named Tova to make the Borgninian transformation complete.
Anyone know a MT expert who can throw me a frickin bone here, people? I feel so cold and I long for their embrace. I keep calling baby, baby, pleeeeeeease.
Everyone needs a goal. And everyone can use a lava lamp. I have one such lamp on my desk at work, in fact.
One day a colleague came strolling by my desk during a particularly bad afternoon for me in late January.
"What's the substance floating around in that lamp?" he asked.
"It's my bile,'' I replied.
He slowly backed away.
But not everyone considers lava lamps to be a metaphor for professional angst.
A young squire in Soap Lake, Wash., appears to be succeeding in his efforts to relocate a giant lava lamp from Times Square to a Target store in his town.
Here's how the Web site spells it out: [Link]
Paris has the Eiffel Tower, Seattle has the Space Needle and Soap Lake has the Worlds largest Lava Lamp!
Soap Lake, a once bustling spa town due to its unique mineral lake (presently being studied by NASA and the National Science Foundation) is located in Eastern Washington State, USA and is in need of renewed tourism and re-development.
The concept of the Giant Lava Lamp, conceived by Brent Blake, and assisted by friend John Glassco, is an appropriate theme structure for the community.
Soap Lake has always been a healing and art community, and the lava lamp is soothing, calming, healing and an art icon. The lava name is unique because the region is one of the last areas of earth to have had massive horizontal flows of lava that is today a beautiful geological wonder. After 14,000,000 years, lava has returned to Soap Lake.
"People will come from all over the world to see this structure of AWE," says Blake.
"Think of the interest this structure will have on people. It is an active, mesmerizing, vividly colorful and always changing kinetic structure. What other theme structures in the world possess such features? Visitors will be thrilled to see such a wonder and will be rewarded by its scale, show of light and constantly changing, oozing and flowing goo!"
Sorry for the technical problems, folks. Looks like someone hacked my site and destroyed the innards.
Mad props, shout-outs and general double-secret-probation handshakes of thanks go out to Eric on the help desk at Hosting Matters for helping me resolve the problem.
You guys rock.
Because mistakes were made. Errors in judgment took place. Foolish behavior ensued. And it was all captured on camera.
Witness Bad Mistake Exhibit 1:
7. The heat generated by a laptop, and the knees-together pose needed to balance it, can damage a man's fertility.
38. Yoda was based on Albert Einstein.
26. The full names of Scooby Doo's Mystery Inc members are: Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Velma Dinkley, Scooby "Scoobert" Doo. Shaggy is actually Norville Rogers.
87. One gigabyte of information - about a quarter of the memory of an iPod mini - is the equivalent of a pick-up truck load of paper.
94. A cruise ship can put more than 130,000 litres of sewage into the sea each day.
97. Matt Groening's father - the inspiration for Homer Simpson - has only complained once about his alter-ego's actions. It was an episode in which Homer badgered Marge into walking some considerable distance on a hot day to fetch him something.
Airport Monitor lets the public in a handful of metropolitan areas see where in the skies planes are flying in their vicinity. You can even click on the various planes to see what type of aircraft and at what elevation they're flying. [Link]
The one for St. Petersburg-Clearwater Airport is on the list. [Link] Back it out to about 40 miles to get a true picture of what the airspace over Tampa Bay is like:
" You might want to pack some loose clothing, lots of cotton. You’re going to Hell for this one. And it’s mighty warm there."
As a goof, I bring my old college ID thinking I'll pay three bucks to hit a Rays game. It's college night and admission is three dollars. I show up around the second inning and this 20-something working the ticket window near the big round orange plaza is only too happy to accept my three singles.
"It's college student night, right?"
"Yes -- here's your ticket."
Once in, I visit with my pal Mary-Ellen, the Pasco County lady who works the credit card table outside section 108. She still has that shrill voice that draws new credit card meat. People are real suckers for a free towel. They sign up for the plastic, and walk away with a towel with a Rays logo on it.
Mary-Ellen tells me they're expecting 6,000 fans. The image is going through my head -- what does 6,000 fans look like in the place? I walk through the vomitory and there it is -- rows and rows and rows of empty seats, with a smattering of fans fanning out from behind home plate down the lines.
Gawd, it was depressing. Fourth home game of the season. Oakland A's, playoff team. And a crowd that easily could fit into the spring training stadium by the water. It was a beautiful night and it would have been wonderful to watch the game with the sun setting beyond the outfield walls.
With my $3 Beach section ticket, I stroll down to row J, eighth row from the field, just beyond the infield dirt down the left-field line. I'm happily watching inning after inning, with a slow doze setting in, though. Then, in the top of the eighth inning, Vince strikes midnight -- some usher tells me to get out of my seat and leave the section.
I tell him the game is so boring and the atmosphere so downright depressing that I was about to nod off anyway.
I head home and as I'm crossing the bay, some new guy named Green hits a broken bat single to drive in the winning run in extras for the Rays, according to the new guy on the radio from Chicago who keeps on using the word, "here," in his broadcast. It's annoying. Rays win, 3-2, and I get home 10:30 p.m.
We have come to understand that if we'll just wait long enough, Vincent J. Naimoli will play the part of the clown. He never lets us down, and it is always entertaining.
If you haven't seen his chip on the par-3, 16th hole, you will -- about a million times. All he did was bump the ball onto the granite-hard green, and then watch as it rolled to cup's edge, hang there for a full three seconds, and drop into hole. Maybe it was the weight of the grass stain on the ball that made the difference. Maybe it was the karma of an old man sitting in a rental house.
"Under the circumstances, one of the best [shots] I've ever hit," he said later.
UPDATE: Here's the video of the chip in question, courtesy of Drew, aka Mr. "You Want A Piece of This?": [Link]
TORONTO (CP) - Slash was doing a show with his band Velvet Revolver in Toronto recently when he decided to play a couple of bars from O Canada.
"The whole place went nuts," the rock guitarist recalled Friday. "I was like 'OK settle down, just wait for April 8.' I just gave them a taste of it. It was cool though, they started singing the words and I was overwhelmed by that."
The fans went even wilder for the real thing Friday, when the former Guns N' Roses star performed the national anthems before the Toronto Blue Jays' home opener, a 6-5 loss to the Boston Red Sox.
A record home opener crowd of 50,560 began chanting "We want Slash," and roared wildly as he played the Star Spangled Banner and O Canada on his electric guitar by the pitcher's mound. They yelled even louder when he added a riff to the end of O Canada.
In the days preceding the show, Blue Jays president Paul Godfrey said reaction to Slash was mixed, with younger fans pumped and older people giving him the thumbs down. But Slash was respectful in the renditions, not straying from the tunes while giving both a hard-rock twist.
"I've listened to a bunch of different versions of (O Canada) just to make sure I try and stay true to the melody that was written in 18-something-or-other," he said.
The performance wasn't unprecedented for Slash, who is famous for strumming wildly with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and wild streams of black curls jetting out from under a top hat. He has also played the Star Spangled Banner before a Los Angeles Lakers game.
"That was pretty nerve-wracking, just standing there in the middle of centre court, just having everybody stare at you all by yourself," he said. "This situation is even bigger, I'm pretty frozen at this point. Once you start playing you're fine."
Catcher Gregg Zaun, right-hander Justin Speier, lefty Scott Schoeneweis and first baseman Eric Hinske, who took pictures of Slash with his cellphone, were among the Jays watching.
"I used to listen to them all the time,"' said Hinske. "It's pretty cool."
Zaun later got Slash to autograph two guitars in exchange for a catcher's mask.
Red Sox centre-fielder Johnny Damon checked things out from the batting cage before returning to the clubhouse and yelling: "Slash is just rocking."
Sent: Saturday, April 02, 2005 9:02 AM Subject: Oops
Has Fox heard about this? I'm surprised they didn't try it first.
Error puts strippers on public access TV
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. - Viewers expecting to see the latest local meeting on their public access channel got an eyeful recently when Cablevision played a tape of nude dancers accidentally.
The mistake affected customers in parts of Dutchess, Ulster, Putnam and Orange counties.
Hopewell Junction resident George Morton returned home from Palm Sunday Mass and turned on his television to see a striptease contest.
"I thought, this is terrible," Morton said. "I don't get HBO or anything like that."
Cablevision said Thursday it was not a public access program and that a "program switching error" occurred.
"When it was detected, the programming was removed immediately," Cablevision spokesman Bill Powers said. "We have taken appropriate steps to prevent this from happening again."
Morton said he planned to file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 10:48 AM
A COMBINATION of 36 cockroach bombs and an oven pilot light has blown apart a Thai restaurant in Perth, injuring three men, two seriously.
A massive explosion rocked suburban Duncraig today after chemicals released during last night's do-it-yourself fumigation ignited, blowing out the back wall and lifting the roof off the Tamarind restaurant.
The blast caused an estimated $500,000 damage, fire authorities said.
Of the five countries with the largest Catholic populations, only one (Italy) is European. Forty-six percent of the world's Catholics are in Latin America and there are more Catholics in the Philippines than in Italy. In 1955 there were 16 million Catholics in all of Africa, today there are 120 million.
If we’re lucky, the divine Holy Spirit shall descend upon the college of cardinals and deliver us a successor who truly inspires the faithful and frees us from the bondage of sin and death.
Or they could just elect this guy:
Mostly, what will be missing while Mr. Jennings undergoes treatment is his uniquely dry delivery: on the air, he is tart, sometimes supercilious, but always smooth, calm and, most of all, never mawkish. His aplomb was especially missed in Rome this weekend; normally crisp anchors somehow lost their bearing covering the death of John Paul II: the desire to match the solemnity of the moment and the mood of mourners brought out some of the most cloying prose in television history. Mr. Williams and CNN's Aaron Brown began sounding more Catholic than the cardinals, and Diane Sawyer went into the kind of transports usually associated with St. Teresa of Ávila. (One exception was Larry King, who on Sunday asked Jim Caviezel, the actor who played Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ," to assess the pope's chances of making it to heaven. "Jim, you think he's with Jesus now?" Mr. King wondered. "We only have 30 seconds.")
The prospect of packing up our life, of leaving our friends and our city, has changed us profoundly in ways we never expected. Turns out we have a pretty good life here in the nation's capital. We've just had a hard time seeing it through the mist of depression and heartbreak.
And now I must sheepishly report the following: there will be no year-long road trip.
There are many reasons for our decision, and many of them are good and reasonable ones. But really, it all comes down to a simple change of heart. In preparing for the trip, it was impossible not to notice the signs: the procrastination on trip-related tasks, the sentimental clinginess to old routines, the fact that both of us seemed more focused on life before and after the trip (and not the trip itself).
Of course, there were some practical concerns. My master spreadsheet revealed some shocking, if obvious, truths: little things cost a lot when you buy them for 365 days. This trip was going to be expensive, real expensive, and we'd be stealing from the future to escape the past. Career momentum was another concern, as were the staggering logistics of packing a houseful of possessions on ice for a year.
But again, it isn't about that stuff. It's about this: we're excited again about our future here in D.C. Five months ago, excitement seemed impossible. But the psyche heals, and while time is probably the better part of the cure, I think planning this trip helped a lot too. It forced us to take a long look at our life, to contemplate saying goodbye to it, and to expend huge quantities of time and energy in doing so. And when it came down to it, a lingering reluctance permeated our household. We were stalling. And for no justifiable reason.
Sometimes you have to see a sign for a sign, and this one was neon and blinking.
Generally, it's a little bit more on country side. It's got a lot more steel guitar on it, but in some ways it's a lot more wacky and colorful. For instance, I've got a song on there called, 'The great Hank Williams' which is about me going into this bar and seeing a guy up on stage that is a transvestite dressed up as Hank Williams with lipstick and singing his songs and he's got this whole commentary on Hank Williams and country music. It's really fun. We did it in this really great traditional country style with a 'from beyond the grave' voiceover and it's unbelievable. It probably won't ever get played on the radio two times, and I'm not asking anybody to, but it's damned interesting."
Here's your chance to see the Toronto Blue Jays take on the Boston Red Sox at Rogers Centre for the 2005 Home Opener! One lucky winner will receive a pair of tickets to the Red Sox-Blue Jays game on Friday, April 8 at 7:15 p.m. plus two (2) Velvet Revolver CDs, a Blue Jays jersey signed by Slash and an opportunity to watch one full inning with Slash in his private luxury suite at Rogers Centre on Opening Night! So, enter today before the entry period ends at 2 p.m. ET on Monday, April 4!Nah. Prolly not.
The creep has been slow, like watching a glacier move down a mountainside.
But there definitely is creep.
One by one, friends I know have been jumping into the blogging pool. And rather than castigate them with a finger wag and a, "What the hell took you so long?" I choose to welcome them into the club and promote their efforts, following in the model of Dave, who did the same for me.
In this case, it's a new blog by my friend Jolie, with whom I worked many moons ago. (Could it really be almost 5 years???)
She's hilarious and brilliant and a great writer. She's also the inspiration for the little-beloved, much-misunderstood Your Moment of Britney series.
What can you expect when you visit her aptly named "average everyday sane/psycho supergoddess" blog? Why, lots of pop culture, a hint of Boston attitude, a pinch of sports and pearls like this, of course:
my tush is expanding as I type this...
Listening to Jennifer Lopez's entire ouvre. I have the sudden urge to bully a man into buying me bling.
my weekend prayers
It was a spiritual kind of weekend, what with goings on in Vatican City & Opening Day - all told I believe I watched about 550 hours of Papal coverage & Ken Burns Baseball. I did, however, catch a snippet each of the Trashiest Girls on TV: Gastineau and Power. How do these people live with themselves? The horror, the horror, the bleach-blonde horror!! I can only handle about 79 seconds of each show before breaking out in hives and maniacally reaching for the remote, but it did occur to me that someone should call FOX and suggest a Gastineau/Power Girls You're-Not-A-Celebrity-Despite-Your-Best-Efforts-To-Convince-Us-Otherwise Mud Wrestling Smackdown.
Better yet, invite Victoria Gotti and we'll make it a threesome.
Nixon's Enemies List is the informal name of what started as a list of the Nixon administration's major political opponents compiled by Charles Colson and sent in memorandum form to John Dean on September 9, 1971. The list was part of a campaign officially known as "Opponents List" and "Political Enemies Project." The official purpose, as described by the White House Counsel's Office, was to "screw" Nixon's political enemies, by means of tax audits from the IRS, and by manipulating "grant availability, federal contracts, litigation, prosecution, etc."It didn't exactly work out for Nixon. He took his list and became so fixated on reaping the benefits of such a fevered agenda of poltical elimination that he never could quite keep his upper lip free of tyrannical flop sweat. Then when news of the list came out, it gave his critics even more ammunition to attack him as the petty, paranoid bastard that he truly was. He was brilliant, but he was a total and complete nutjob.