June 20, 2008
ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
IT'S GREAT TO BE A FLORIDA GATOR EDITION
Saw this car on the ride home last night.
What does the tag say?
I hate it when I'm forced to involuntarily read.
Is that supposed to be an amalgamation of "GATOR?"
Because it could so totally be something else.
I'm imagining this conversation which never took place:
HIM: I put the new custom plates on the back of the BMW today.HER: Great! Let's go see.
::::walking out to the four-car garage::::
HER: [frowns] Why does it say "GAY HATER?"
HIM: What? No. It's "GATOR."
HER: No, it's "GAY HATER." GY is "gay. H plus 8 plus R is "hater."
HIM: No. Read it again. See? "GAAAAAAATOR."
HER: No. "GAAAAAAAY HATER."
HIM: [groans in disgust] That explains why people have been snapping my photos at stoplights.
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.