Remember this? It happened again today during a follow-up visit.
Can I have a peanut butter sandwich please. Can you cut the crust off?
Lots of office going-away cakes these days. Too many.
Good thing they can sometimes be mildly entertaining in a poor-taste kind of way.
*Cross-posted from The Stew.
When I have to consult the lunar tables to determine what the best time for navigating my way across town, it's time to stop with the precipitation.
When your day starts out with almost stepping on two lizards doing the nasty, the day can only get better.
And then a giant finger reached down from the heavens and tapped me on the shoulder as a voice said, "You are here."
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC
Color me bemused.
Costom mods are cool.
It's great to be a Florida Gator. We think.
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.
The older you get, the more important it becomes to find your car in the parking lot.
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
Costom mods are cool.
It's great to be a Florida Gator. We think.
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.
Sometimes, you just have to take a hacksaw and do it yourself, goddammit.
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
It's great to be a Florida Gator. We think.
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.
Any association between New Orleans and the need to soak up liquids in an emergency are entirely coincidental yet still distasteful.
PREVIOUS EPISODES OF "IRONY OR COINCIDENCE?"
Ice pick to the eardrums, anyone?
Run away, Batchelor!
Coke is it.
He chutes, does not score.
Light one up, dude.
T-shirt hell.
So the Tampa Bay Devil Rays have dropped too many a few games consecutively against good teams some okay teams.
No big whoop.
Kids are still excited enough to get Devil Rays color-schemed rubberbands on their braces.
Sure, Publix still sells Rays peanuts...
...they're just not sure how much they should cost. Or if they should cost anything at all.
Saw this commercial the other night while watching the finale of "Hell's Kitchen."
Once again, life imitates "Mr. Show."
My friend and colleague Kurt got a new job at a different company a couple weeks ago.
His relocation hasn't stopped the press kits from rolling in the door at work.
His friends at National Geographic sent this lovely gift.
It's a lovely, plush towel. Makes sense. When you think National Geographic, you naturally think luxury cotton products.
And it's been monogrammed with his name. Probably so he couldn't turn around and sell it on eBay, I'm guessing.
Not that any professional journalist would ever do that. Kurt certainly never would have.
Only problem: I won't see Kurt for a while in order to give it to him.
Seems a shame to waste all that good towel until I do. I think Kurt would agree.
This is Phil. Phil is my muse.
I have made photographs of Phil in a variety of poses.
Wearing only a towel has not been one of them.
You have no idea how hard it is to get a hypochondriac to strip down in a newsroom for a candid photograph.
This is as close as we could get.
This is Mike.
This was Mike's last day on the job. He's leaving, too, just like Kurt.
Mike didn't get a nice towel in a press kit from National Geographic. Not yet, anyway. (He did, however clean up in the going-away booze and cigar departments, courtesy of co-workers.)
We didn't think it was fair to deny him access to quality cotton products. Especially since Mike has occasional perspiration problems.
Mike is very hairy.
There. All better.
Now, don't tell Kurt about our little project, kids. It will be our little secret.
Where will the towel go next?
Better yet, where should the towel go next?