June 14, 2009
CLOSER ... CLOSER STILL
[AREN'T YOU GETTING A LITTLE CLOSE TO THE INSECT?]
The crepe myrtles are in full bloom outside Casa del Ensalada right now.
Yesterday morning seemed like a good time to flex the camera.
Pretty.
Very pretty.
Okay... that's close enough.
Seriously. Back away.
This is stupid. What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?
Do you want to get stung? Do you? Keep it up.
OKAY, ENOUGH. YOU HEAR ME??? ENOUGH OF THIS!!!!
YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. GET. STUNG!!!!!
CALL 911! CALL 911!!!!!!
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Huh? Wha...?
What happened? Is it over? Is it gone?
Nevermind.
PREVIOUS TOO CLOSE
June 12, 2009
WORST CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES
[MEME A LITTLE MEME WITH ME]
"If I Should Die Before I Wake""Goodnight, Keith Moon"
"Strippi Longstockings"
"My Friend Flickr"
"Pap The Bunny"
"Go, Snoop Dogg, Go"
"Where The Girls Gone Wild Things Are"
"Oh, The Drinks You Can Drink!"
"The Sandwich of Monte Christo"
"Sleeping Pill Beauty"
June 11, 2009
SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A MEME
[HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY TWITPICS]
Dude, don't be that guy.
This is why your kid is fat.
Here's to you, 8 a.m. Tire Store Picnic Bench Lovers
Redneck Twitter.
You can follow along with the photo fun here.
June 10, 2009
ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC
[ROBERT FROST BACK TAT EDITION]
Rolled up behind this couple on the way home last night.
Wait. What's that on her back?
Interesting.
Two tattoos diverged in a wood, and she--
She took the one less drawn by,
And that has made all the difference.
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
Eye Would Drive 4 U
Asphincter says what?
Brush it off.
Get me a truck and make it snappy.
Color me bemused.
Custom mods are cool.
It's great to be a Florida Gator. We think.
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.
June 05, 2009
WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF UTILITY?
[3.5 IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER]
We have a giveaway counter at work where people put the various freebies that are sent to the newsroom up for grabs.
It usually looks like the Island of Misfit Swag. Coffee mugs no one wants. Books about sex after menopause. CDs cast aside by music critic like a used groupie from Led Zeppelin. That sort of thing.
Anything that's worth a damn doesn't usually sit for very long. Usefulness and/or something delicious finds a home pretty quickly in someone's purse or backpack.
Anyway, this was the scene at work the other day:
For the record, I'm talking about the 3.5 discs, not the newspaper.
Come to think of it, sing along if you know the words: